Pictures
by FragileYetEerie
Summary: It's amazing how much a simple mistake can change one's life. If only Ciel Phantomhive had never pressed 'send', then maybe his life wouldn't be so terribly messed up now. Then again, had he never sent those pictures, he might have never gotten to know Sebastian Michaelis. / AU & OOC
1. A simple mistake

**Hey everyone! So here I am again with an idea that's been on my mind for quite some time now. And guess what, I already know the plot for a change, which means that I'll be updating this one more regularly.. I hope. **

**As mentioned in the description, Sebastian and Ciel are pretty OOC.  
**

**And no, I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Enjoy, hopefully!**

* * *

"Haha, look at that. I mean, it's normal for girls to take nudes, but seriously, as a guy?"

"Are you talking about that kid with the blue hair from our high school, two years or so younger than us?"

"Exactly, can you believe how some 15-year-old boy would do something like this? It's obvious he desperately wants attention though, just look at his hair.. God, if such pictures of me were online, I'd probably throw myself off some bridge or something. I heard that he's gay, too. And someone mentioned that there weren't only pictures but also videos online. "

"Hey Sebastian, look at this", a white haired girl laughed, addressing the boy sitting next to her on the couch. When the older teenager didn't answer, she instead punched his arm playfully, causing the raven to turn around with a scowling face, annoyed at once again being disturbed while listening to music. People just seemed to have that habit of wanting to talk to him exactly then when he didn't feel the need to communicate at all.

Sebastian took off his headphones, red eyes focusing on the bright cell phone display being held right in front of his face, expecting some sort of 'funny' picture Angela found on Facebook or something, like usually. Since the room they were sitting in was rather dark, it took a moment until his eyes fully focused on the screen. It showed a person standing in front of a mirror, taking a picture with their phone.

The first thing he noticed was the bright blue hair, chin length, with some longer locks that almost reached the bony shoulders. The hair looked messy and some of it fell into the heart-shaped face, covering one of the eyes. He then took a closer look at the one visible eye. Its deep blue color matched the hair's. The eye was the only thing that brought some color into the otherwise pale face but if you looked more closely, it became visible that it was swollen and red, as if from crying. Or maybe he had some sort of allergy, Sebastian mused. But the black bags underneath the eye only assisted in making it look like something bad must have happened before the picture had been taken. But then again, maybe he was just reading too much into it.

Sebastian bit his lip. He didn't like the look on the young boy's face at all.. He had never seen a smile that was so obviously fake.

And one second later, as Sebastian's eyes eventually slid down the thin, small body, it became obvious that something was indeed very wrong with the boy in the picture. He was thin, incredibly so, and it looked almost unhealthy. The flat stomach was stained with a few dark spots; bruises, presumably. They didn't look fresh though, it was just a faded hint of blue and purple on otherwise white skin, and they definitely weren't that easy to notice, and yet, they were there, undeniably.

But that wasn't what bothered Sebastian the most when he looked at the picture.

The boy who looked even younger than he himself was completely naked. He automatically let his eyes wander to these long, lean legs before he could stop himself. However, as soon as they moved upwards to the crotch, he forced himself to look away, confusion and shock written all over his face as he looked at his friend questioningly.

"What. The. Hell?" the raven took a deep breath as he noticed that the girl didn't seem to understand the cause of his shock at all. He spoke up again, "Angela why are you showing me a picture of some naked, underage boy? Why do you have something like that on your phone in the first place?" He swallowed to get that dry feeling in his throat to go away. It didn't quite work.

"Geez, what's up with you? That's just some little attention whore from school, why are you freaking out like that? It's not my fault the kid decides to send these pics to everyone," she defended herself, having expected another reaction from the older boy who wasn't known to be all too innocent either. "Besides, it's not like you have never laughed this kind of stuff, why would this be any different now?"

Sebastian looked at her without an expression on his face, red eyes blank. She was right, he himself had never been one to actually defend someone who was being picked on by others. On the contrary, he couldn't necessarily say that it made him proud but in most cases, he would even be the one who put someone else down. There were two types of people, the hunter and the hunted if you will, and he definitely didn't consider himself a victim of any sort.

But why had his initial reaction to this picture been to defend the small boy with the blue hair? Was it like when a dog instinctively defended a small puppy?

Sebastian cringed at the thought of those animals. He really prefered cats. Besides, the boy had nothing in common with a dog except maybe those puppy eyes.

"Yeah, I just.." it took him a moment to come up with something that his friends would expect him to say, "this is freaking disgusting, you don't have to hold a picture of some anorexic little fag right in front of my face, I really could've done without seeing this, you know?"

"Aw c'mon, don't you think he's pretty cute?"Ash, Angela's twin brother, asked only to break out into laughter afterwards.

Sebastian chuckled darkly although he didn't think it was funny. _What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I even feel some sort of pity for that guy? This actually is quite laughable, pathetic even.  
_

However, something about this picture had captured Sebastian's attention, he couldn't just brush it off as easily as he usually did.

"But seriously, this guy is from our school? I've never seen him there before and I bet I would've noticed, I mean blue hair isn't that common around here and our school is not that big..", he said, honestly confused as to why he had no clue who the boy was. Their school really wasn't a big one and since all of them lived in a rather rural area, one would expect to have at least seen everyone once, especially when they stood out in the mass of people, which that boy obviously did. Also, Sebastian wasn't the type to forget faces and even if he hadn't had this hair color before, he was pretty sure he would remember _that_ face.

"Yeah, I've seen him around a few times, usually all by himself though. Well it's not much of a surprise, who'd want to be friends with such a weird guy?" Ash explained, a look of disgust on his face as he talked about the younger teenager.

Sebastian nodded, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Whatever, guys. I think that's been enough slander for today. You know what? It's getting warmer outside, does anyone want to go swimming in the lake this weekend?" Joker, Sebastian's best friend interrupted in a cheerful tone. He always seemed to be in a good mood. Joker was usually the one who organized all the things they did together as a group; be it parties, sleepovers, camping trips or whatever he came up with. He had always been like that, ever since Sebastian could remember; Joker was the one with the ideas and Sebastian was the one who complained about having to socialize at first but always ended up complying and having a good time with his friends.

And easy as that, the redhead had effectively changed the subject and no one wasted another thought on the young teenager as the group chatted about their plans for the weekend.  
No one, except Sebastian who couldn't seem to get this young face with the sullen expression out of his head.

* * *

It had been more than a week since Sebastian had seen the photo and it would be a lie to say that he hadn't kept an eye open to see if he would spot the younger somewhere at school. But he had no such luck.

_Maybe he called in sick, it wouldn't be much of a surprise after so many people at school have seen him naked. _

Sebastian still wasn't sure what exactly it was, but somehow the picture of the boy seemed to be burned into his brain, the more he tried not to thing about it, the more it demanded his attention. Needless to say, he had been on edge all week. Sebastian Michaelis did not _care _about others. He had never been one to worry too much about someone and even when it came to his friends, he couldn't say that he was too concerned with their little problems. Sure, if something serious happened to them he would try and help, but he wasn't anyone's mother and in the end, everyone had to get along without having to rely on anyone's help.

He briefly wondered if he thought about it that way because his father had been in the army and instead of hearing loving words everyday as a child, he had been told stories about war and how you couldn't have pity with anyone because none of your enemies would pity you either when it came down to it. Yes, maybe it had been some sort of childhood trauma.. Or well, maybe he just wasn't born to be the caring type. Whatever, his father was dead now and dwelling on those old stories didn't exactly help to brighten his mood.

Besides, Sebastian couldn't even say that he _cared_ about the boy. For all he knew, he had awakened some sort of interest in him. Not in a perverted way, it was more that he wanted to know just exactly why the boy had looked so utterly.. broken on the picture. Maybe Sebastian was a bit sadistic or maybe it was just the fact that morbid and broken things somehow appealed to him, whatever it was, there was definitely something to this boy that made him want to know more about him. For all he knew, he could actually be just another teenager who somehow wanted to get attention by any means necessary, but something told him that this wasn't the case at all.

He really wanted to hit his head against the grey wall next to him.

Sebastian had never been too good at school. Not that he wasn't clever. And he wasn't lazy either. There's a difference between being too lazy to do anything and just not giving a damn about homework assignments and grades. And he could really care less.

The bell rang and Sebastian was actually glad that his negative thoughts were interrupted. He hadn't even bothered to take his stuff out of his bag at the beginning of the lesson and therefore he didn't have to gather anything. Standing up, the 17-year-old looked out of the window. It looked like it would start raining soon, rain clouds darkening the sky. He couldn't say that he disliked rain, it was more enjoyable than sunshine, that much he knew for sure.

Everyone had already begun chatting with each other, leaving their teacher to try and yell loud enough so everyone would understand what the homework assignment was, but the woman wasn't the authoritarian type and as soon as she noticed that no one even payed attention anyway, she quit even trying and instead picked up her bag and hurried to leave the room. Sebastian watched with a slightly amused expression. How this woman got the idea to teach teenagers for a living, he'd never understand.

He turned back to the look at the others and as he turned to leave, he noticed Joker walking in his direction, the usual smirk on the redhead's lips.

"Sebastian are you gonna come to the cafeteria and eat lunch with us?" he asked, motioning to the others who usually hung out with them.

"Yeah but I'm gonna go outside first to get some fresh air before the rain starts, I'll be there in ten minutes or so. My head hurts a little," the raven explained, not wanting to reject his friend. But he really did need a few minutes alone and some cold, fresh air wouldn't hurt either.

"Okay, see you then," the other waved but Sebastian had already walked past him, making his way through the crowded hallways. Well, there weren't even that many people but not being in the best of moods, there were still enough for him to feel annoyed by them. Like he would drown if he had to spend another minute in that building with all these people. He inwardly cursed that blue haired boy for messing with his head so much, Sebastian just really wanted to know the story behind the picture, the story behind the boy. Or at the very least, he wanted to know his name. But he hadn't known whom to ask and besides, it might have come across the wrong way if he asked for the name of a boy who he'd only ever seen naked on a picture.

Sebastian left the old building and made his way through the almost empty schoolyard and past the parking lot. Their school was situated right next to the forest and since it hadn't rained yet, the raven haired boy decided to sit in the grass with his back leaned against a rather tall tree, facing the fields and the forest nearby. He shortly debated on listening to music but decided against it, finding to quietness way too enjoyable. He closed his eyes tiredly and sighed as a cool breeze caressed his skin. Somewhere behind him on the parking lot he could hear voiced but he didn't pay them any mind. All the underage smokers usually gathered there, convinced that nobody would find out about it. Sebastian almost chuckled at the thought. How utterly ridiculous.

He let his eyes drift back to the forest. The trees had just become green again after a rather cold winter and it was refreshing to see some color outside, not just black and white.

* * *

"Hey, what the hell are you doing here again? I thought you'd left the school?" a large boy with dark brown hair yelled aggressively.

_If someone says something mean, just look straight ahead and walk past them. Do nothing to provoke them, please. _Elizabeth's words echoed in Ciel's mind as he made his way over the school's parking lot, hugging himself tightly in order to not freeze to death. How was it still so cold in April? He tried to not think about the group of teenagers standing just a few feet away as he got closer to the school entrance. He tried to ignore the comment. How had these guys even recognized him that fast?

He was wearing an oversized, black hoodie, the hood effectively covering his oddly colored hair. He had definitely thought about just dying it a black color again, but in all honesty, what difference would it even make? It was not like everyone would just forget about what had happened just because he'd spontaneously decide to fall in line. On the contrary. Pretty much any obvious change he'd make at the moment was just another potential reason for the others to put him down. So his hair would stay as it was for now.

"Hey, we're talking to you!"

Ciel bit his lower lip and closed his eyes as he tried to get away from them, making larger steps and hurrying to get away, but it was to no avail.

Of course. Just 10 more seconds and he would have been on school grounds, which didn't exactly guarantee safety either but there would have been people around probably and maybe then nothing would happen. But it was not like Ciel had such luck, he never seemed to, in fact. A pair of hands had already grabbed him from behind, and not too gently, either.

He was being spun around until he faced the boys, some his age, some older than him. All of them taller, naturally.

"Well, but I wasn't talking to you, so you'd better let me go this instant," he spat, not intending on backing down now that he knew he was most likely going to be beaten up anyway. Ciel had always had the habit of acting strong when he really wasn't.

The others faked a shocked expression and out of nowhere, a fist hit the pale face, hard, making the hood fall off the young boy's head. Ciel instinctively raised a hand to touch his face where he had been hit, angry tears threatening to overflow from big, blue eyes. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, pink lips slightly parted. He didn't want to cry, he really didn't. But the shock of the sudden hard fist hitting his face had been way too sudden for him to control his tears any longer. Before he knew, a steady flow of hot tears was running down his face and Ciel clenched his fists, more than angry at himself.

The boys who had by now all gathered around him started laughing at the display of the young boy, who had been talking back to them just a few moments ago, now crying.

"Oh god, you're such a fucking faggot," a blonde boy from Ciel's class laughed at him and the others joined in.

"Shut up. Don't call me that," Ciel whispered quietly, but loud enough for the boys to hear him it seemed, as he was greeted with another fist, this time hitting his mouth, making the bitter taste of iron appear on his tongue.

And then, another fist followed, aiming for his stomach instead of his head this time and making the small boy hiss in pain as he leaned forward to hug his stomach. On his thin body, the punches had even more of an effect and he almost blacked out due to the pain as another brunette kicked him in the stomach this time, barely missing his head since he was still leaning down and somewhat curled in on himself.

Breathing didn't come to him quiet as easily anymore and Ciel feared he might get an asthma attack soon if they'd continue on with this.

"I don't think you're in the position to tell us to shut up, you little disgusting whore, you understand?" Another blow in his stomach followed and Ciel was pretty sure there were going to be quite a few bruises, hopefully no broken rip or anything. The group laughed again and even if he had tried to ignore it before, there was no mistaking it now. A certain male's laughter within the crowd had him closing his eyes tightly, not even wanting to see the other. That much for not backing down. He'd been beaten up before but for some reason, he couldn't seem to deal with this combination of emotional and physical pain. A strong arm then pushed him and, being the lightweight he was, Ciel immediately lost balance and fell, hitting the floor with a painful thud, the hoodie thankfully cushioning his fall a little but it sure didn't help a lot. With one last kick in his stomach, the boys went off, leaving a barely conscious Ciel laying there on the cold concrete. Tears were now flowing down his face freely once again and his body involuntarily jerked with violent sobs.

* * *

To say that Sebastian hadn't been astonished by the small boy's answers would have been a lie. Despite his quiet, feminine voice, he had actually been talking back to a group of at least eight taller boys.

At first, Sebastian had just listened to the conversation taking place behind him, not caring too much whether some idiots got into a fight or not. But something about the sound of a punch followed by a quiet sobbing had stirred something inside him. And before he knew it, his eyes were once again focused on the person he had been trying to get out of his mind for the last few days. He could only see a part of that pale face and some of the blue hair that looked even brighter in the daylight, since the view was blocked by some of the taller boys, having circled the small figure. The boy wasn't looking in Sebastian's direction and nobody else seemed to have noticed him standing in the grass not too far away, watching the scene unfold.

Sebastian wasn't sure what to do. Something inside told him that he had to help the boy, but at the same time, he hated the fact that he felt that way. It wasn't like him, he wasn't some over protective mother hen and besides, he didn't know the boy at all. Also, he had gotten himself into that trouble by talking back to them, or so Sebastian told himself as he regarded the boys punching him until someone eventually pushed him and the teenager fell to the floor. Something about the sound made Sebastian snap out of his trance as he realized what he had just let happen.

He could have stopped them, he could have even brushed it off as nothing but being nice, nobody would have to know that it would have had to do more with the boy who was being assaulted rather than with Sebastian's strong sense of justice or anything. But he hadn't. And only now as the boy lay there on the cold floor, sobbing quietly, he actually decided to help. Well, if he could even help him anymore now.

Sebastian carefully put one foot in front of the other, eyes locked on the mess these guys had made out of the blue haired teenager, as he walked in the boys direction. He had never been good at comforting people and for a short moment, Sebastian pondered turning around and walking away. Maybe the boy would be alright without his help.

But as a drop of rain hit his face, followed by another, he took this as a clue that he couldn't just let the smaller one lay there in the cold, especially if it would start raining more now.

As he reached the tiny body, Sebastian still had no clue what exactly he was supposed to do or how he was supposed to help. When the boy didn't react, either not having heard the footsteps approaching him, or having chosen to ignore them, Sebastian did the first thing he could think of.

He nudged him gently, an uncharacteristic thing for Sebastian to do.

The boy lay with his face down, seemingly having turned around and no longer in the position he was in immediately after falling. Blue hair hung down the sides of his face, blocking the view of his face. The oversized hoodie looked more of a greyish color now, covered in dust from laying on the street. It must have been several sizes too big as the boy seemed to be practically drowning in the dark fabric. Sebastian once again remembered the picture; the boy really was way too thin and having him laying there right in front of him, it seemed even more noticable. Or maybe the picture had been taken some time ago and the boy had actually lost more weight since then? However, now wasn't the time to question such things, Sebastian mused.

The boy had yet to react to his touch and for a second, Sebastian feared the worst. He instantly reached out to lay a hand flat on the clothed back, relieved when he felt the body moving underneath his touch. Of course, it wasn't that noticable, he was after all touching his back and not his chest, but the boy was breathing steadily.

Sebastian let out the breath he had been holding up until now. A mumbled voice caught his attention and the black haired boy was so startled for a moment that he didn't even know whose it was. He looked around, they were all alone. But wasn't the boy unconscious?

As if to confirm that he wasn't, the smaller of the two spoke up again, his voice small and barely audible, and Sebastian had to lean closer to the boy's face in order to understand the last few words of what he was saying.

"..off my back, it hurts you idiot."

His hand was removed from the boy's back so fast, it almost looked like he had burned it and pulled it away out of reflex.

"I'm sorry, I just.." Sebastian trailed off, not knowing what to say. What was he even doing here? What could he say?  
"Are you alright?" he asked, as if he couldn't tell by looking at the boy that he was definitely _not_ alright.

Silence followed and Sebastian almost feared that he wouldn't even get an answer.

"Who are you?" the words weren't quite as hard to understand this time, but the voice still didn't sound like that of the boy who had gotten into a verbal fight with the others earlier, at all.

"My name's Sebastian. Sebastian Michaelis. And you are..?" the taller of the two asked smoothly.

"What do you want from me?" the response came and the sound of those harsh words spoken with a hard voice that didn't seem to belong to a broken little boy anymore, slightly surprised Sebastian.

The younger of the two carefully turned to his side, deciding that he wouldn't be able to stand up yet. He tried to hold back a whine as his whole body seemed to protest against the movement. Those big eyes were shut tightly in pain but Sebastian could recognize the face from the photo nonetheless. Even though this time, someone had made quite the mess out of it. Those pale lips were partially covered in blood, which also ran down the side of his face. The rather thin, small nose had started bleeding too, covering even more parts of the white, soft looking skin in crimson.

Sebastian could only stare as those eyes slowly fluttered open, and he felt like he was looking straight into the saddest eyes in the whole world. Maybe it was because of that deep blue color, maybe it was because the boy had been crying for quite some time now, whatever it was, the hurt in them was so obvious that the boy's attempt to pull off an indifferent face after his eyes had shortly widened to an almost comical extent, was quite futile in Sebastian's opinion.

The second Ciel had opened his eyes, he had been utterly shocked. Of all people, he wouldn't have the boy kneeling in front of him expected to look like _this. _It was not like he really knew the older teenager with the black hair and those oddly colored eyes, he had seen him around sometimes, but he would have never expected someone older than him, and not to mention someone rather popular, as far as he knew, to even bother and look at him as he lay there, bleeding on the parking lot. Was the guy one of the boys who had been beating him up minutes ago? Did he have a bad conscience now or something? Why didn't he answer?

After an initial moment of shock, Ciel tried to put on his mask of indifference again, not wanting to appear even weaker in front of whoever this Sebastian was than he already did, probably.

"I don't want anything, I saw you laying on the floor and didn't know if you were even alive or not, so I thought it might be a good idea to see if you're alright," Sebastian explained, the slightest bit of sarcasm in his voice. He could understand why the boy wouldn't trust someone who just came along after probably being bullied for some time now.. It wouldn't make sense to expect the boy to even trust him the tiniest bit. However, the fact that he actually didn't have any hidden motive or second thought this time, but that the boy had still assumed so, would have made him upset if it wasn't for the look on that face as the boy seemed to understand what he had said and his expression softened, or maybe Sebastian just convinced himself that it had.

"So, you don't know who I am?" the younger asked, his mood seeming to have actually changed a lot within just a few seconds. If Sebastian didn't know any better, he'd probably say that there was an almost hopeful expression on his face, as though the boy hadn't expected anyone at their school to not have heard of what had happened. Well, Sebastian really didn't know a lot about it, but he sure as hell had seen the photo.

However, looking back into that heart shaped face, he couldn't bring himself to actually say it out loud.

"No, I don't think I've seen you before. And to be honest, I would probably remember you. Don't get this wrong, but you aren't that easy to overlook."

* * *

**If you've come this far, this either means that you liked it or maybe you just thought it was so bad that it was funny. Whatever it is, thanks for reading. **

**And feel free to review, I love reviews. Especially those with constructive criticism. :3 **

**btw. I will try to update Go to hell for heaven's Sake anytime soon, but I've been having trouble writing it for some reason. **

**Bye, have a wonderful day! ~**


	2. Crimson and dark blue

"No, I don't think I've seen you before. And to be honest, I would probably remember you. Don't get this wrong, but you aren't that easy to overlook."

Ciel stayed quiet for a moment, a sour expression on the young, wounded face. Of course he wasn't easy to overlook, and now that he was well known amongst his peers for none too positive reasons, he really didn't consider standing out too much of a positive thing anymore either. His big blue eyes seemed to look right through Sebastian with a sad expression and the raven briefly wondered what shade of blue he would use if he were to draw these eyes. Navy blue wouldn't be bright enough and Azure would be a little too colorful. _Maybe royal blue? Or maybe I could just mix them together? _

Not that he actually wanted to draw him, he was just wondering.

With Sebastian's heavy gaze on him, Ciel wasn't sure whether he was supposed to say something or not. The silence wasn't too bad but it felt like much needed to be said right now. It would only be a matter of time until Sebastian would hear about what Ciel had done or he might even see one of the pictures that he himself had taken not too long ago, blinded by fear and panic, not thinking of the consequences. It was only weeks ago but to Ciel it felt like years had passed since then. Somehow, everything had changed so tragically within these weeks that whatever had happened before was of little importance to him anymore. Weeks ago, Ciel hadn't been _that _nervous when he had talked to people. It had been easy to keep up the mask of indifference towards the majority of his peers and, along with it, keep distance from them simply because he knew that by the end of the day, they probably won't spare him another thought. As long as you're boring to them, as long as you don't provide a _funny _story, they don't care about you too much. That thought had always helped to calm him down if just a little. But sure as hell, talking to people or having people do so much as look at him, wasn't an easy thing to endure anymore at all.

By now, Ciel Phantomhive wasn't just some prude, boring wallflower anymore. On the contrary. And the bluenette hadn't been as naive as to believe that things would stay as they were before this incident. When he had first heard people joking about him, he had convinced himself that he was being paranoid. How could anyone have seen the pictures? But they had. And he had never expected that the harsh comments, the beatings and the whispering wherever he went would last for more than two weeks. But it had. And now, laying in the floor in front of Sebastian, the young boy didn't know what to say.

"Do you not talk to people? Or are you lying to me?" The words came out more roughly than intended and seemed to hit Sebastian right in the face. Yes, he had been lying _and_ he didn't talk to too many people. So what? Deciding to play innocent, he smoothly answered, "Do you want to tell me you're famous or something? Or are you just overly confident, kid?" He didn't miss the way Ciel winced at the word famous and it was only after Sebastian had spoken these words that he noticed their bitter irony of them.

Famous indeed, not for the best reasons though... Sebastian wasn't the sentimental type.

"My name is Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive," no further explanation was given from Ciel's side.

"Okay then, _Ciel._ You look pretty bad and I'm not sure what exactly happened to you (another lie), but maybe we should get you to the infirmary. Believe it or not but I actually thought you might be unconscious or dead just a few moments ago, plus your face is covered in blood and.. dirt," the raven explained with a forced smile and brushed a lock of blue hair out of his face. It stuck to the dirty skin as if to prove his point.

However, he didn't expect a panicked, "No!"and a small, pale hand gripping his shirt tightly and pushing him away all of a sudden, followed by a short coughing fit. He moved his hand away as though he had burned his skin and looked at the other, eyes wide. As soon as the younger realized just how obviously strange his reaction had been, he let his hand drop on the cool asphalt and concentrated on breathing properly, the tiniest blush appearing on his face, barely noticable due to the red blood that still covered big parts of it. Sebastian was quite sure that those bruises wouldn't disappear anytime soon.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and eyed the mess of a boy in front of him questioningly. He wasn't completely sure what he had done to cause this outburst.

"So then, are you like, scared of people touching you or something?" he asked amusedly, mouth working faster than his brain. Before Sebastian knew, a small chuckle had left his lips, his usual charming personality showing. He frowned a second later. _Maybe I should just stop feeling guilty every time I say something that might somehow be_ _related to that thing with the photos of his. It's not like he knows that I know. It's not like I'd care if he did.  
_

The boy answered with nothing but a cold stare and a mumbled, almost inaudible, "Not everyone likes being touched by jerks."

"Did you just call me a jerk?"

Ciel simply rolled his eyes, doing his best at looking like he wasn't in pain as he lifted himself up from the ground to sit properly.

"Yes I did, and you should really learn to think before you speak, you jerk," Ciel answered, sounding more exhausted than a boy his age should. He sounded tired. Sebastian didn't know what to say for a moment. This boy certainly was an interesting teenager. _Having such a big mouth right after being beaten up, it's almost comical.. he's just making things harder for himself with that attitude. _

"Way to talk to someone who went out of their way to help you, _Ciel._ Besides, you're the one with the potty mouth here, don't you think?" he smirked as Ciel suddenly became uncomfortable with looking directly into his eyes. His eyes focused on something in the distance instead.

"I didn't ask for help."

As these words left his mouth, he didn't sound angry, nor exhausted. But utterly lost, as if he'd accidentally spaced out while speaking.

"You don't want my help then?"

"I don't need you to help me. I'm fine," the boy answered curtly, his voice sounding strained as he stood up, standing on weak legs that were visibly shaking. He spit on the floor and it left a red stain. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, looking disgusted. "See?"

Sebastian stood up as well, and only when he was standing in front of the other, he really noticed their height difference. The boy wasn't only thin, but extremely small too. Coupled with his doll like face, he looked way younger than he actually was, not at all like the other boys his age. Most boys his age either had those had those lanky bodies, their legs being too long and their proportions extremely messed up, or they were overweight with broad shoulders. Not this boy, despite the unusually thin and bony look, everything generally seemed to fit just fine. It was hard to explain, especially since Sebastian had practically seen the body in front of him naked and he didn't want to feel like a total creep staring at his body.

"So, you're not going to the infirmary then?" he asked again, feeling unsure about leaving Ciel all by himself in his current state.

"No, I'm not."

"Why not?"

"I hate nurses, doctors,.. all of them. Having them look at me like I'm some interesting little experiment, having them touch me," he sighed, as if recalling a memory.

"Did you have a bad experience with a doctor or anything?" Sebastian went on asking another question, not really understanding Ciel's problem with doctors. Sure, it was never too pleasant to visit them but still, it wasn't that bad either, was it? Or was he being insensitive again?

"I had asthma as a child. I guess it classifies as childhood trauma. Being dragged from doctor to doctor, I've always hated it," whilst speaking, the boy coughed loudly. He then turned away, "I'm going home, goodbye Sebastian."

Sebastian wanted to ask whether the boy really was okay and whether he still suffered from asthma, but before he got the chance to, Ciel had already walked away and disappeared behind a corner. _That was fast, he could barely stand moments ago.. And that coughing...  
_

However, he didn't get the opportunity to further think about the boy's strange behavior, his thoughts were interrupted by a group of people with rather loud voices. He didn't need to look at the people leaving the school's ground to know just who exactly they were. After all, those were the ones who had been beating a defenseless (it was strange to Sebastian, using this adjective to describe Ciel when the boy himself seemed to try anything just so he wouldn't appear weak) boy. Not just any boy, the boy that had plagued his brain for the last few days because of that goddamn photos everyone knew you shouldn't send to anyone if you didn't want them leaked. The boy who had been beaten up and whom he let go all by himself while he was practically coughing up blood. _God damnit, stop worrying. _

He looked over to the group of about 10 people chatting a bit too loud and feeling a bit too smug for his liking. Not like he'd try to pick a fight with them, he wasn't that much of an idiot. He wasn't proud to say that he knew all of those guys by name. Neither was he proud that one of them was his half brother, Claude. Sebastian wasn't sure whether Claude had decided to join those guys simply because he himself was an idiot or whether they had seen some sort of idiocy potential in him and contacted him or whatever, but it didn't matter. Ever since Claude had started hanging out with them, even being in the same room with Claude had become more than exhausting. Luckily, his elder half brother practically lived at his girlfriend's apartment with her and barely even showed up at home anymore. He was not sure what exactly Claude saw in Hannah (other than her boobs of course), the girl was well known for sleeping around and breaking innocent guy's hearts, but somehow, their relationship had lasted for three months already. And for both, Hannah and Claude, that must have been their longest relationship yet. Sebastian wasn't that sure though, he had never been one to talk about such things, especially not with his half brother.

"I seriously thought he'd still lay here, it's a shame," one of them said, sounding seriously disappointed.

"Yeah, sounds like him to just run away. Faggot. Well, he'll come back, he has to. He can't just skip all of his classes, after all." The group agreed, like a pack of dogs being assured that they'll get their food soon.

"Do you guys want to go to the Undertaker's and have a beer or two?"

At this, Sebastian's eyes widened slightly and he turned to look at the group who still hadn't noticed him. He walked right past them without another thought and turned right, following the street on which Ciel had left barely two minutes ago. Sebastian was not sure what exactly this feeling was, but something told him that it might be for the best to go and see whether the boy had already made his way home. He wouldn't have followed him if it weren't for the fact that Claude and his friends wanted to go to the Undertaker's, a bar located in the middle of the village. And with the few streets here, it would be more than likely that they'd bump into the small boy if he really wasn't home yet. No matter how much of an insensitive guy Sebastian was, he wouldn't let that happen.

The raven looked around, scanning the deserted street for the mob of blue hair. He wondered where Ciel lived and why he had never seen him around if he had actually been living here for a long time. He wondered too why Ciel hadn't wanted his help. Did it have something to do with keeping his pride or what? _Or does it have something to do with not wanting _my_ help_?

He hurried a little, walking past the school, past some small gardens and past the old, romanesque church. Looking at the the flowerbeds filled with roses of different colors, some red, some dark purple and some black with a blue shimmer, he almost overlooked the lithe body sitting on the stairs, curled up into something resembling a ball. Thin arms were wrapped protectively around his legs. Ciel's head rested on his knees, blue hair hanging from his head and covering his whole face. _Like a curled up little kitten, _Sebastian couldn't help but think. The body was trembling and Sebastian was sure that, if he'd look at the boys face, swollen red eyes and a waterfall of salty tears would be visible.

It looked rather depressing, seeing Ciel like this.

Sebastian took another few steps and neared the smaller teenager. Somehow, it felt wrong getting closer to the boy while he was to busy crying to even notice. It gave Sebastian the same feeling he'd had after looking at the picture, like a more than private thing was happening in front of his eyes, and yet, he just couldn't stay away. He felt like he was invading the boy's space once again, and this time he would notice.

Not making a sound, Sebastian placed his tall body beside the smaller one, not so close that it would cause too much discomfort, but close enough to feel somewhat capable of helping to calm the boy down. _Or convincing myself of that._ He just sat there and looked at the hair that didn't seem quite as vibrant as he remembered it to be, it looked darker now. Colder, somehow.

The heavy breathing calmed down a little after a minute or so of just sitting there beside Ciel, unsure what to do. It was only when someone passed by and Sebastian's staring was interrupted, that he remembered the reason he came to search the boy.

"Ciel?"

He didn't flinch, in fact Ciel didn't seem at all surprised as Sebastian addressed him, which shortly left Sebastian wondering whether Ciel just was a really observant person, even in such a situation, or whether he himself was the exact opposite of observant. He seriously hadn't been sure whether the boy had even noticed him or not.

"It's to much to explain right now, just come with me for a few minutes. I'm not doing anything, okay?"

As the other raised his head and looked at him with what could only be described as utter mistrust in those teary eyes, Sebastian didn't even wait for an answer. He just grabbed to boy's arm, destroying the atmosphere of time having stopped that had existed until moments ago, and pushed him to stand on his feet. A look of discomfort crossed Ciel's face and the boy flinched. Sebastian ignored it.

"What are you? Hey, leave me alo-"

"Shut up," Sebastian interrupted the boy's whining and he pulled the younger, who was unable to properly defend himself against someone with as much strength as Sebastian, along through the garden none too gently and on the parking lot behind the church in a hurry.

Ciel used his whole strength to try and break free from his grip but it was to no avail until Sebastian deemed the area safe and let go, almost causing Ciel to lose his balance and fall on the ground. If it weren't for Sebastian's fast, cat-like reflexes, at least. Before the boy could hit the floor, he had gripped his hoodie, causing him to stand, albeit on shaky legs.

Ciel looked him in the eye, dead serious, with the most accusing look he could manage. "What was all of that about, you moron?"

Sebastian took a deep breath. "You can thank me once your temper is tamed, and just so you know, I just saved your ass."

"Don't drag me around like a fucking psychopath and then tell me to calm down!" He rubbed his temples like it would help him somehow. "Now, could you explain this to me and be a bit more precise, please?" He half ordered, half asked, only now remembering to wipe away his tears from before.

"Shut up for a moment and I'll tell you, okay?"

A small nod followed.

"Good boy. You were beaten up minutes ago. The guys who did it came back and searched for you and they're passing by in a minute or two and I'm sure you wouldn't have enjoyed being punched to death or whatever. Precise enough?"

"And why exactly would you want to help me? It's not like you're my-"

"A simple thank you would have been enough, you know?"

The boy crossed his arms in front of his chest, breathing heavily, looking more than exasperated.

"Fine. Thank you. So, do you think it's safe now? I kind of really want to be at home right now and I have no intention of standing on this parting lot for hours until the group of idiots has passed by. I'm not feeling too good, you know?"

The fact that the boy had just admitted to being weak almost caused a look of shock to cross the boy's face. He eyed him with a smirk.

"If you're leaving now I'm coming with you," he declared.

Blue eyes widened just to narrow a second later, pink lips pulled down into a bitter expression.

"I don't get it. What do you want from me? Do you want me to be in your dept or something? I'm not a 10-year-old, Sebastian, I can walk the 500 feet to my house by myself." He looked away.

"I don't know about you, but if I find someone lying on the ground, bleeding and crying, I somehow feel like it's my duty to at least do something. Especially if they refuse to see a doctor."

"I wasn't crying, I simply had trouble breathing."

"Sure," Sebastian smirked at the boy who had chosen to ignore the main message in what he had just said,"so come on now, and hurry a bit, you want to be at home as fast as possible, remember? And I don't need to waste more time than necessary on this."

A somehow annoyed and somewhat insecure expression appeared on Ciel's face. "Then don't waste your time on me, it's not like you're getting anything in return. You don't even need to feel bad, I'm fine. I don't need any more help."

Sebastian eyed him, unfazed. _Why do you want to keep me from coming with you so badly?_

Sebastian Michaelis had a lot of personality traits that wouldn't necessarily be considered positive by everyone. One of them was his stubbornness.

"Stop talking and let's go, okay? What direction?"

The boy didn't say another word, noticing how it was useless to try and change Sebastian's opinion.

He just started walking into the direction they had come from, crossing the small church garden without turning around to see whether Sebastian was following him or not. Which he was, of course.

Even as the boy crossed the street, Sebastian didn't receive the slightest bit of attention, an entirely new position for him to be in. Usually, he had others following around if anything. _I have willingly let this boy put me in the position of a dog._He shuddered, thinking about how filthy and dumb dogs were in his opinion.

As they continued to walk, things didn't change. Ciel walked ahead, at a surprisingly fast pace for such small legs, Sebastian noticed. The younger felt red eyes stare at him and he couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable. He tried to hide it, but obviously attention wasn't something he enjoyed as much as others seemed to. The closer they got to his home, the worse it got. He felt nervous, anxious even. Or maybe it was just the head injury from earlier that made him feel a bit dizzy. He wasn't completely sure.

"We're almost there, I can walk the rest by myself," as Ciel spoke those words he already knew they would be ignored. He still wasn't completely convinced with Sebastian's reasoning for following him but he wasn't in the mood to make a scene either. Besides, it was not like he could do anything if Sebastian really was set on following him. The raven was a lot taller and, quite surely, a whole lot stronger than him.

They neared the end of the village, with only a few houses left. Sebastian eyes them and guessed which one would be the one Ciel lived in. The houses were small, some looking new and a few looking quite rundown. Nearby, the forest began.

As the boy turned to walk to the front door of one of the houses, Sebastian began to understand why he didn't like showing others where he lived.

The house was old, that much was sure. However, it was not the nice kind of old, it was not old fashioned or elegant. Rather than that, the outside looked like it was in need of a renovation more than anything, ivy having began to grow on it, making the walls look briddle. The garden was quite the mess and it looked like it hadn't been taken care of properly in a long time. Somehow, Ciel didn't have the appearance of a person living under such conditions at all.

As the boy suddenly stood still, his head turned to he had to eye nothing but the floor as he spoke.

"We're there. Thanks for helping me earlier, Sebastian. See you."

The way he didn't even look him in the eye had Sebastian swallow for a second before answering. "It's nothing. Take care, Ciel," he spoke,"and if you ever need help or something, just tell me." Those nice words felt weird and yet natural as they left Sebastian's mouth. Ciel had already entered the house as the sentence was finished. Sebastian stood still for another few seconds and eyed the house for a few more moments, noticing how all the curtains were closed for some weird reason.

As Sebastian made his way back to the school, he thought about the mess of a boy he had encountered today. Ciel Phantomhive. The boy who the whole school had seen naked. The one with the blue hair and the intense eyes.  
And somehow, he had even more questions than he had before.


	3. Relapses

I apologize for the long wait, so much happened in the past few months that I hardly had any time to write but I haven't forgotten about this fic..

I would like to warn you that some happenings in the story could be a trigger for some people, so if you have/had issues with eating disorders, self harm or self loathing, please read with caution /

Having just entered the house, Ciel almost collapsed, leaning against the door in order to keep his balance. He should have really have just stayed at home, how foolish of him to think that he could just go back to school like that. Of course they hadn't forgotten yet. _As if they ever will._

The boy took a moment to listen carefully in order to find out whether or not his father was at home. When no sound was to be heard, he slowly got on his feet again. Thankfully, he sighed. At least it didn't feel like his legs were about to give in any second anymore. The beating had really taken a toll on his body and maybe, just maybe, it was actually a good thing that Sebastian had accompanied him on his way home, otherwise things might have turned out a lot worse.

Heading for the bathroom, Ciel wondered,'why does it feel like I know this Sebastian guy from somewhere?' He eventually just shrugged it off. They went to the same school after all, it was not much of a miracle that he seemed familiar.

The cold water felt refreshingly nice on his skin as Ciel began the task of ridding his face of the dried blood and the dirt that stuck to it. _How utterly disgusting._

Once finished, Ciel looked into the mirror again, despising the weak creature that was his reflection. Dull blue eyes looked back at him, almost mocklingly. He could tell that his face had sunk in pretty much within the last weeks. He had used to look healthier.

Another sigh left his mouth as he began to search the bathroom for his makeup. Yes, makeup. It wasn't like he enjoyed wearing it, but he had learned that it could actually help a whole lot when it came to covering bruises, escpecially those in the face. After a good five minutes of searching, he found the make up laying undeneath various other things. The bathroom was messy to say the least. And so was the rest of the house. When he had first moved in with his father, he had tried to clean up a little every once in a while, but by now, he had given up on that. Why bother when it takes less than two days until everything looks the same again?

Ciel applied just a litlle bit of the pale makeup on the most visible wounds and made sure it looked natural. Once satisfied, he gave one last look to the image of a tiny blue haired boy in the mirror. He looked okay. Or rather, as okay as he could. Still worse than the average person on a bad day, probably.

Unsure what to do, Ciel wandered through the house aimlessly, spontaneously heading for the kitchen in the end. His stomach hurt and he had the usual dizzy feeling he always got when he ate too little. _But do I really want to eat something right now? _

Inside the kitchen, it was a bit less messy than in the rest of the house, but that didn't mean that there weren't about 20 more or less empty bottles lined up inside the small room. He stepped over them carefully so he wouldn't break anything. Inside the refrigerator, there wasn't so much food that Ciel could really say he had a choice. If he wanted to eat anything, it would probably be a slice of bread with either butter or, if he was lucky, a bit of honey or something. He didn't even like bread though. Again, he could see his reflection, as he stood in front of the fridge that was made out of some cheap, shiny metal. He cringed.

_Ugh, god._

Looking at the fridge for another few moments, he changed his mind. The thought of eating just made him feel sick right now. It repulsed him. He instead took a glass and filled it with tap water. As he sipped on his drink, he could feel the water calming down his throat that strangely seemed to be quite dry.

Ciel decided to not stay at home and wait for his father to return. Instead, he searched the usual drawer in the kitchen for his father's cigarettes and took them with him. _He'll forget that he even bought new ones in the first place, _Ciel convinced himself. His father indeed often forgot about such small things. Ever since his parents' divorce, Ciel had had a hard time looking up to the man. He honestly couldn't say that he was much of a father figure to him. There was no bond between them, no respect from Ciel's side. His father was nothing but somebody to be afraid of, especially when in a bad mood.

Trying no to think about it, the boy just looked forward to spending some time outside, alone. Somewhere where he wouldn't be disturbed by anybody. And he already had a place in mind.

..

The greenish blue water, the small trees and the lack of any sort of sound instantly made Ciel feel calm.

In the forest nearby his house, there stood the remains of what looked like it had once been a rather nice garden where a family could spend their free time. That must have been years ago though, for he had never once met someone here, the place seemed forgotten, run down... But above all, it was beautiful. In the old garden, there grew a lot of white roses, which were Ciel's favorite of all the plants here, he had decided. They looked so out of place, something so delicate and easily destroyable that contrasted starkly against the deep green grass and the tall, unshakable trees. It would be so easy for an animal or a human to trample the flower and they probably wouldn't even notice what they just destroyed.

He tore his gaze away from the flowers, choosing to look at the lake instead. Ciel's favorite spot in the garden sure as hell was on the old oak tree that for some reason had not grown straight, but instead it hovered over the water, creating the perfect seat. He took one cigarette out, lighting it as bored eyes scanned over the landscape.

As he took a drag, he let his mind wander. Nowadays,it was usual for him to think about the mistake he had made by pressing 'send' after those humiliating pictures had been taken almost all the time. It was his own fault he had to deal with all of this now. The laughing, the violence.. The disgust; all of it were effects that had to be reckoned with and yet, it still was harsh. More often than not, Ciel wasn't even sure whether it all even hurt him anymore or not. Understanding his own emotions had never been his strength and with everything that was going on in his life at the moment, there were just so many emotions to handle that it sometimes seemed like he didn't feel anymore at all. Like he just couldn't tell what was even really going on inside his own mind, if that made any sense.

No one his age should feel the constant need to go back to the old, the better times..

'No one my age should want to die either..'

As he sat there, spacing out, he thought about his future. His fate was already decided; no matter where he'd go, no matter what he'd do, there was no escaping it. His past mistakes were like two hands tightening around his throat, never letting go and only grabbing him more firmly if he'd try to get way.

Everyone had seen his body. After years of always being the awkward, the unsociable child, the one everyone laughed at, he had finally managed to blend in with the mass. He hadn't been extraordinary, he hadn't been weird. He had been normal.

Then, he had made one mistake.

Now, he was anything but. Kids his age, older and younger people mocked him, laughing at his 'attention seeking behavior', laughing at his body. Laughing because of his sexuality.

His body, Ciel understood, was something to laugh at. The shape was anything but nice to look at, his skin was pale, white almost. His statue was laughable and his weight was too high considering his small body. That's what they had told them and the most hurtful thing about it had been that it was in fact true. Ciel believed, or rather than that, he knew that he had no reason at all to be proud of his body.

'If only I could get out of this body, if I could start anew, maybe then everything would be better.'

Of course he couldn't do that. No one could. His hand gripped his leg tightly, almost shaking.

'You'll end up just like your father,' the words his mother had screamed at him some time ago, after a violent fight with Vincent, rang through his ears again.

Before he knew what he was doing, a stinging pain tore through his body, making his eyes tear up and his heart race. That something as tiny as a burning cigarette pressed onto cold skin could cause such a sharp pain to suddenly take over your body and silence every little thought inside your head was quite hard to understand. Especially for those who had never experienced it before.

Ciel,however, had.

A silent sigh left his mouth as his thin arms wrapped around his legs, his head sinking onto his knees. ' Not again.'

..

Red eyes widened slightly in surprise as Sebastian walked into the direction of his and his mothers' house.

"Hello, my pretty girl, what exactly are you doing here outside?"

Within seconds, the small white kitten had made its way towards Sebastian, already starting to purr slightly as it moved around his legs. Sebastian loved cats more than anything. Although it wasn't a typical thing for a boy his age, he would rather spend a whole day taking care of their now 5-week-old kittens, than meeting his friends or going out. The feeling feeling was mutual though and even the rather shy cats never needed more than a few minutes with him until they decided that he was to be trusted.

Sebastian lifted the kitten up and continued towards the door, entering quietly since it was open.

"Mom? Are you home? "

No answer was given and Sebastian instead decided to check the rooms himself, the tiny kitten still on his arms.

Unsurprisingly, there was some noise behind the door to the living room.

He walked through it, closing the door behind himself as fast as possible, seeing as this was the room where they kept their kittens and usually, none were supposed to escape and run away, the risk of one of the young cats running in front of a car was just way too high.

His mom was sitting at a small glass table,going through some documents hectically. He put the cat on the nearby chair and crawled its head.

"Ah, Sebastian. You're home early, how was your day?" his mother asked the usual question, even though she should understand by now that there was also an usual answer.

"School was alright, a little boring but nothing too bad happened." Oh, but it had.

"So, that means no test results or spontaneous quizzes?" The woman smiled, her sharp brown eyes full of amusement.

"Nothing like that, no. Besides, shouldn't you be watching out for the kittens? Just as I arrived I already got greeted by one, I hope the others are inside?"

"Oh dear, I'm so glad you found her before anything happened. I'm pretty sure all the others are here.. Oh, can you maybe feed them later? I'm in somewhat of a hurry, I've had a client scheduled for about ten minutes ago I had completely forgotten about, so I had to rush over and just as I arrived, I noticed that I had forgotten my folder, so here I am now, searching for the right one in this mess," she explained, continuing to search.

"Mom, could it be that one?" He pointed towards the folder that seemed to have fallen off the table.

It took her about two seconds to confirm his suspicion. Getting up with the files in her hand, she lightly smacked her head with the other. "Thanks so much, I owe you one for that, I would've never found it in time." Sebastian smirked, 'In time.. As if you weren't already late.'

"You're welcome. Just,.. mom?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

He sighed. "I've got a question."

His mother answered with a hand gesture,showing that he was supposed to continue.

"If someone has a really big problem, in fact, so big that it even bothers you to just think about the situation they're in, and you want to help, but at the same time, you know there is nothing you can do to change what happened to them, then what are you supposed to do? And I mean, a really shitty situation."

His mother eyed him skeptically for a moment, then she answered, "it's hard to answer the question with so little information.. However, there is always a way to help. Helping doesn't mean that you need to be the one to solve their problem, usually someone has to do that on their own. But no matter the situation, you can always support them. Even the smallest things can be of significance to someone in need."

Oh, the joy of having a therapist as your mother.

"Besides, I'm so very glad you want to help whoever it is, that's a quality not many people have, the most just ignore it. I'm so proud of you. Especially since you've never seemed to show much affection to anyone. "

She smiled at him brightly, giving a short but suffocating hug to her son.

"But I really gotta get going, we can talk about it later if you want. "

And with that, she exited the room, leaving Sebastian to think over her words.

Affection... This had nothing to do with affection but rather with pity. Sebastian didn't particularly like either emotion.

'There's always a way to support someone,' Sebastian sighed, wishing he didn't feel the need to help Ciel Phantomhive.

/ If you're still interested in this fic, please leave a review or something so I know whether or not it is worth , sorry if there are a lot of mistakes, I wrote this on my phone. T

hanks for reading (:


	4. Drowning sorrows

Good day, everyone.

First of all, thanks so much for all the lovely reviews, and thanks to every follower and reader. I'm so glad there are still people who like this story, you are lovely. (: And I actually managed to write this chapter within just a few weeks, which is quite the achievement for me. I'll try to keep this up if possible so you don't have to wait as long anymore.

Of course it would be awesome to hear what you think about this chapter as I'm trying to improve my English and my writing in general.

About the story; so far it seems like this is going to be a huge story with a lot of chapters, Sebastian and Ciel are (how else should it be) going to fall in love, but it is going to take some time and things will happen slowly.

I do not at all have the intention to let it seem like love alone can heal someone who suffers from a mental disorder, and I hope none of you feel like it is going in that direction cause it won't. Self hatred, abusive families, eating disorders and self harm are in no way nice and admirable, they are serious problems and should be treated as such. I just want to make this clear before anyone gets the wrong idea about this fic.

With that said, enjoy!

* * *

"Have you found her yet?" Sebastian's mother was usually a calm person, thinking things over, trying not to rush and make mistakes. In her job, she had quite some responsibility after all. A therapist couldn't afford to be on the edge of a mental breakdown themselves. However, she was also an oftentimes stressed out individual, scheduling one patient after the other and trying to manage her little family as good as she could.

Some mistakes just couldn't be avoided though. And the same mistake that had happened to her twice in a row now.

She hadn't closed the door properly when she had left the house in a hurry and while nothing seemed to have been stolen, something was missing. One of the young kittens, with its few weeks of life experience, had spontanously decided to take a walk outside. Now the problem, of course, was that neither Sebastian nor his mother had managed to find it in the neighborhood.

"No, I have no idea where she could have disappeared to. And you are sure she is not inside the house somewhere?" Sebastian questioned with a sigh. He rubbed the side of his head with his hand as though it would help him come up with an idea where the kitten might be. They had been searching the area around their house for about two hours now.

"Of course she isn't, I've searched the entire house twice. Maybe she went inside the forest? It's not that far away after all," his mother suggested, not sounding entirely convinced.

"It's not that close either. Where's Claude by the way? He never really helps at all when it comes to the household."

When Sebastian's mother didn't really know what to say, he spoke up.

" How about I go and search the forest while you stay here, ask some neighbors and see whether she decides to come back on her own or not. I've got my cell phone with me, so just call if you find her or anything."

She nodded, understanding.

"Just take care, it'll get dark in a few hours and I'd prefer it if you wouldn't be running around in the forest at night," she smiled gently.

"I'm really not a kid anymore.. Anyway, I'll come back before it gets dark, it's not like I can see at night, and also, I'd much rather know the kitten is safe before having to leave it outside for the night. Who knows what could happen."

With that, he jogged off in the direction of the forest, unsure of where exactly to even look, but determined to find the kitten.

..

On Saturday afternoon, Ciel's father had come home. Disappearing for 5 days, just like that, was not even something that he did often. It had left Ciel being unsure of whether he would even come back at all or not. Therefore, the last days had had a bittersweet feeling to them.

There had been no fights, just silence.

And it had been too silent. Being all alone for a day or two might be acceptable to most, but spending almost an entire week without anyone to talk to, all alone inside your house... Once upon a time Ciel would have been able to enjoy the solitude; to watch movies, read, listen to music. But not now. Now an entire week alone with no one around left him alone with his thoughts.

He had thought about how he had lost everyone. The only friend he had left was Elizabeth, but she only ever visited once a month and for a few hours. He had lost Alois, who had once been his best friend. He had lost his mother, too. Or rather than that, she had given him away for his father to take care of him, which said a lot. Rachel knew Vincent better than anyone, presumably. His tendency to get violent, his constant need for the feeling of power, his inability to deal with problems.

It was not at all hard to figure out how Vincent would treat his son.

But Ciel had long since given up on the hope that one day his mother would suddenly stand in front of the door, begging him to move in with her again. At first, the hope had been there, but with each month that had passed, it had gradually faded, leaving only the bitter feeling of being abandoned where the memory of his mother used to be.

"You sicken me, I can barely believe you're my own son. Look at yourself, do you think it's nice for me to know that practically everyone around stares at you wondering if you're some sort of transvestite? Just fucking cut your hair and wash that awful color out, will you?"

Throwing a nearby plate from the table on the floor in order to prove just how angry he was, Vincent Phantomhive left the kitchen, leaving an emotionless Ciel behind. Having heard words of that sort more than often enough, he barely even showed a reaction anymore.

He decided that it would probably be the best decision to just leave for now, as it is often was. Even his passive act somehow managed to sometimes aggravate his father's mood, but it still was the best decision to put some distance between himself and the older man. But before he even had the possibitly to get away, Vincent was there, standing in front of him again, the height difference making Ciel feel more than inferior to his father.

"You know, Ciel, I have always wished to have a son. I imagined teaching him how to hunt, having a beer with him every once a while, my son coming home with a beautiful girlfriend one day.. But now, look at you. Just tell me how I am supposed to be proud of you in any way."

Ciel mereley stood there,listening to the drunk words than left his father's mouth, hoping that he'd get this over with soon so he could just leave and get outside this house.

"You even chose to stay with your mother when she left, I bet you wouldn't be here if she hadn't abandoned you once she got tired of you. And I must know, she told me just that," he went on, giving a small laugh at his own statement.

Ciel didn't even have it in him to argue with that. It probably was the truth and he briefly wondered whether his father purposely thought of the most painful things he could say to Ciel in order to provoke some sort of reaction.

"I'm so lucky to know by now how much of a whore your mother is, I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't even my own son."

Ciel took a sharp breath.

"Enough," he said, his voice clear but almost inaudible.

"What did you just say?"

"I've said that you should shut up, if you feel shitty that doesn't mean you have to let your anger out on me and insult my mother who had more than enough reasons to leave a crappy husband like you." When the words had left Ciel's mouth, it was already too late. The damage was done, he had once again let his father's insults get the best of him and he had played along in his little game.

When a large fist met his face, he made a mental note not to ever let it get this far again.

But there are only so many times you can remain silent when all you really want to do is to hurt the person who's causing you so much pain.

..

When Ciel finally left the house, he hadn't bothered to put on any make up. His cheek was swollen and red, his nose had bled just a few minutes ago but he had cleaned it as good as possible considering that he had left in a hurry. Today the weather was more than mild and it felt as though summer had spontaneously decided to visiy earlier than usually, but Ciel felt like he was freezing to death. His small body was covered in an oversized grey hoodie. In addition to that, he wore his black jeans and a pair of old leather boots that had been a birthday present once. The was an almost full bottle of whiskey hidden underneath his pullover just for the sake of no one noticing he had jacked his father's alcohol after the man had decided to go and meet some woman from the nearby city, of course driving his car despite being more than a little tipsy. He'd be busy for about five or six hours, within this time, Ciel could leave. Or maybe if his father was going to have an accident, he'd have more time. But he shrugged the thought off, not wanting to sink that low.

Ciel had always told himself that he'd never be like his father.

His detestable habit of drowning all his sorrows in liquor and beer was less than admirable.

But for once, just for this one time, he wanted to feel the comfort only the bottle seemed to be able offer him.

This was the reason why he kept walking straight ahead towards his usual place, making his way through the bushes and noticing that the weeds had grown rather high thanks to the few days of sun they had gotten to enjoy. He looked at the many different flowers and listened to the bird's voices echoing through the forest. It took him about ten minutes until he arrived at the small lake, instantly heading for his usual place.

Searching through his pockets, he sighed as he found that he hadn't only forgotten his father's cigarettes, but also the key to his house. The only thing he could do was stay out here until his father would return. It was going to be a long night.

He took out the bottle, no longer paying any mind to the nature and peace around him, and opened it with some effort. The smell of the hard alcohol hit him in the face like a fist and he could already guess how much his troath was going to burn once he had finished it. But that knowledge didn't stop him from raising the botttle and letting the gold brown alcohol enter his mouth as he started swallowing the liquid.

Ciel instantly decided that he hated this taste, but he kept repeating the process of drinking only a small amount and then waiting a few seconds before he continued.

Within a few minutes, he wasn't quite as cold anymore and there was more than half left still. He rolled up his sleeves and started toying around with a flower that grew right next to him. The flower was a nice mixture between purple and blue and out of boredom, Ciel ripped it off, creating sort of a ring that he put on his finger for only a few seconds before finding the whole thing silly and throwing the ring into the water that seemed a deeper blue than usual since the reflection of the cloudless sky that was beginning to darken was visible in it.

He grabbed the bottle again to down some more alcohol and closed his eyes, barely thinking about anything at all.

When he reopened them, he was more than a little shocked to find a shadow hovering over him, only visible in the reflection inside the water. He spun around hectically, eyeing the person who had allowed themselves to disturb him while being in his own personal place of solitude and calmness. When his eyes traveled up to the face, he made a silent sound of surprise, not silent enough, it seemed though.

"Watch out, I don't want you to fall into the water out of shock. Are you that surprised to see me here?"

Ciel was indeed more than just a little surprised that Sebastian of all people was standing in front of him, looking as though it was completely normal to creep up behind someone and then scare the living shit out of them. With no warning whatsoever.

Feeling slightly awkward due to his sitting and Sebastian's standing position, Ciel managed to stand up on shaky legs, grabbing a old of the tree's thin branches in order to not fall into the water. This was the first time he had actually drunk as much and considering his lithe body, it was no big surprise he couldn't handle that much alcohol, especially without having eaten anything at all that day.

"Well maybe if you wouldn't walk around like a goddamn creep and have fun scaring me shitless, then I wouldn't be as surprised. Normal people say hello, you know?" He argued, sounding angrier than he actually was.

"Well then, hello," Sebastian answered mockingly, looking at the younger boy and trying to figure out just what Ciel was doing here, all alone inside the forest.

"So? What are you doing here? You're not stalking me,are you?" Ciel asked, his voice sounding a bit off and he had trouble standing straight.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no. I'm actually searching for someone," Sebastian answered after a moment of scanning Ciel throughout. The boy seemed like he was going to fall off the tree any minute and combined with the smell of alcohol that was quite noticeable when Ciel talked, Sebastian could only guess the younger boy had been drinking.. All by himself, inside a forest. How old was Ciel again?

'How odd.'

Not one to hold his thoughts back, Sebastian decided to just ask.

"But I think the better question would be what what you are doing. Not to insult you, but it looks like you are going to fall into the water any second and you small like you just got out of a bar.. It looks a lot like you've been drinking, and not too little if you ask me."

Now, Sebastian was no angel himself. He had already been drunk more than just a few times, but that had been different. He had been out with friends, having fun and maybe drinking a few beers, but he had yet to drink all by himself.. It seemed rather unhealthy, especially for someone Ciel's age.

"No, I haven't. Besides, I'm no child, could you mind your own business?"

Sebastian eyed Ciel skeptically. It was true, he barely even knew the boy and even if he did, it wouldn't be his business. But something about the way Ciel could barely stand straight bothered him. With no one around, anything could happen to the boy. It took him only a glance at the boy's feet to know he'd been lying. There, seemingly hidden behind Ciel, stood an almost empty bottle of whiskey. Whiskey, not beer. If Sebastian drank a whole bottle of that, he feared he would end up comatouse.

"And what's that?" He pointed towards the bottle.

"None of your business," Ciel responded, a bit annoyed with Sebastian's caring behavior by now.

"Oh, but I think it is. Because I'm not leaving you here with that whole bottle. I don't wanna be responsible if you end up in a hospital for alcohol poisoning."

Definitely annoyed now, Ciel prepared himself for an angry answer, silently wondering by now whether he really was a tiny bit too drunk, but he'd die before admitting that.

"I barely even notice anything, why are you always so insistent on helping me?" The 'helping me'part was said in a voice that held a strong sarcastic undertone. Upon finishing his sentence, as if to prove the opposite of what had been said, Ciel's feet lost their hold on the tree and he stumbled forward, Sebastian reacting just in time to catch him with one arm and have him stand again.

"Maybe if you'd stop getting in trouble every single time I see you, I wouldn't need to look after you like that," he answered, voice calm and collected. It was the truth after all, Ciel just seemed to mean trouble.

Ciel was still recovering from the shock of almost falling and, even worse, being caught by Sebastian just like that. His voice had lost its anger and it was replaced by indifference with a hint of sadness. "If you haven't noticed by now, my whole life is a mess so just keep your distance from me, I don't need to be the reason you have to deal with all that trouble and I mean it."

"But this is not some sort of soap opera, you're quite a bit younger than me, not to mention a whole lot smaller and I bet you cannot handle that much alcohol. I don't want to see you drown in the lake or beaten up somewhere in the street, so that's why I refuse to not do anything. I can at least take you home, is that okay with you?"

"Are you even listening? It's not. And I know pretty well how much alcohol I can handle. So thank you, but no, thank you." In order to emphasize his statement, Ciel grabbed the bottle and struggled to open it, drinking a rather large amount in one go and ignoring the burning in his troath.

"Goddamn it, stop behaving like a stubborn child," Sebastian warned him, sounding a bit annoyed now himself. He reached forward to grab the bottle from Ciel's hands, who in turn tried to push him away, completely unaware that they were still both standing on a thick branch hovering over the water. The younger boy was the first one to fall, but out of shock he tried to hold onto the closest thing he could find, which just so happened to be Sebastian's black shirt, leaving the two of them falling straight into the water, some thin branches breaking beneath them.

Once Sebastian had managed to reach the surface of the water, he was still unable to believe what had just happened. The water ice cold and the fact that his clothes seemed to weight ten times as much as usually didn't help. Only after a few moments did he notice the figure struggling to swim to the surface a few meters away from him. Without further thought, he swam over to the other boy, reaching him in just a second or two. He diveddived into the water, grabbing a hold of Ciel and pulling him on his back while swimming in the direction of the tree they had fallen from.

Ciel was coughing loudly, and he had feared that he might drown until he felt himself being lifted on Sebastian's back. Once he dared to open his eyes, he could see the branch right in front of him and a heavily breathing Sebastian right next to him.

"Are you okay?"

Ciel tried to answer, he even opened his mouth, but no word seemed to come out of it. Whether it was the panic, the lack of air or the sudden closeness, he didn't know. He barely managed to nod his head, signaling the other that be was alright. He then wordlessly watched as Sebastian climbed out of the water and reached him a hand. Despite his initial reaction which would have been to reject it, Ciel took the hand.

Sebastian pulled the mess that was Ciel out of the water, having to use quite some strength since Ciel still seemed to be somewhat paralyzed from the sudden coldness of the water and the surprise of having fallen in the first place.

When the both of them were finally on more or less solid ground, there was a short moment of silence as both of them had to catch their breath.

"Ciel? I have a question." The blue haired boy eyed the other, the expression on his face unreadable.

Happy that he was finally able to talk again, he answered with a question, "and what do you want to know?"

"Can you swim?" Sebastian asked, the mask of indifference leaving and turning into an expression of pure amusement.

Ciel didn't answer for a moment.

"No, I can't. So what? I've never been taught how to , there's nothing funny about it."

Sebastian scanned Ciel thoroughly, the way he looked like a kitten that had been forced to take a bath and the way he looked entirely unamused while voicing this were just too much. He couldn't hold back the laughter at the absurd situation they were in any longer.

Ciel's eyes widened. He had expected a lot but not this sudden outburst of laughter.

"Stop it," he said, barely able to hold back a small smile of his own, "it's not funny."

Ciel's cheeks looked slightly flushed by now, making Sebastian wonder what kind of person was actually hidden beneath that mask of indifference and sadness Ciel always seemed to wear.

When he was finished laughing, he caught his breath. "I think we should probably both get home and change into some dry clothes. Especially when you're drunk you should really pay attention to staying warm, otherwise you might easily get sick." He eyed the sky,noticing how the sun had began to set. It really was getting colder.

Ciel eyed Sebastian for a moment before turning away.

"You can leave already, I'm just going to stay here a little longer and wait for those to dry," he said, pointing to his clothes. The alcohol in his system was still quite noticeable to Sebastian as his speech was slightly slurred and it didn't hold the same undertone it usually did.

He sighed. Why did the boy always have to argue even when Sebastian's suggestions were more than logical and reasonable?

"It's going to take hours for those to dry, also the sun is beginning to set and it's getting cooler. And in case you haven't noticed yet, you're shivering and your lips look blue."

Ciel couldn't argue with that, but neither did he want to explain the complicated situation with the house key and having to wait for his father.

Eventually, he started, "I can't go home yet, no one's home and I forgot my keys, so I just have to wait a few hours, it's not that much of a deal, really."

Sebastian looked at Ciel as if to say, 'are you kidding me?' He then took a hold of the boys arm, urging him to stand up and come along. Halfway into the process, Ciel protested slightly but uselessly, hissing at the sudden touch. He finally managed to stand on his own, rubbing his arm and looking Sebastian right into the eyes.

"What are you doing?" He asked, honestly not understanding where this whole thing was going.

"Obviously, you're coming with me. I'm going to get you some dry clothes and a blanket or something and then you can wait there until your family gets home. Sounds okay?"

Ciel would have protested, but with the effect of the alcohol and the way he was freezing, a set of warm clothes just seemed too wonderful to refuse. He kept trotting alongside Sebastian who practically had to pull Ciel so he didn't fall over his own two feet. Within the few minutes they had walked, it had gotten noticeably darker outside. Ciel had at some point started informing Sebastian about all the reasons he hated water, from how he hated it because he was unable to swim, to animals inside it, and the fact that it was almost always too cold for him. Sebastian had tried his best not to laugh about the younger one's behavior that once again showed that Ciel really was quite a bit drunk. There had been about fivty grammar mistakes hidden within his story, and at some point he had been thinking with so concentration about another reason that he had forgotten to walk and simply fallen to the ground like a bag of flour.

Just as they exited the forest, Ciel suddenly stopped again. Sebastian turned around and found that Ciel was staring him right in the eye, deep blue eyes full of some unknown emotion. Sebastian noticed the black shadows underneath them.

"Sebastian?"

"What's up?"

"I.. Just.. You're always being so nice to me and you barely know me... No one does that, not one person. Being nice, I mean. I just... I wanted to thank you," he confessed, embarrassment clear on the pale face and Sebastian could swear that despite the darkness, he could see the way Ciel's cheeks had turned red almost instantly.

He didn't know what to say. This was a first. If anything, he'd deal with people asking him how he could be so mean. Like one time he had made out with two girls just so they'd be getting into a fight because he could stand neither of the two. He had made people look bad in front of others and had destroyed their friendships or their self confidence with his friends. Just for fun...and now, Ciel Phantomhive, a boy so easily breakable, so unused to kindness and so sad to the very core, stood in front of him and thanked him. Of course, he might just be the kind of drunk person who'd always feel the need to apologize and to thank others, Sebastian didn't know. But it still felt like he meant it.

"It's.. " he really didn't know how to react. "It's nothing, just forget about it." Ciel continued to look at him for about two seconds, then he turned away, looking forwards to where they were heading. When they walked through the fields, he almost tripped once more, causing him to hold onto Sebastian's arm for suppor. They spent the last minutes of their walk quietly,neither saying even one word.

As they entered Sebastian's neighborhood, Ciel began feeling a bit dizzy, but he tried to concentrate as best as he could on his surroundings. He wondered what Sebastian's house would look like, how his family was, and how they'd react to Sebastian bringing some completely soaked stranger home.

Sebastian was wondering exaclty the same thing. He almost never brought people home, if anything at all, his best friends might have been over a few times, but he had always liked to keep his home to himself. Now, what was his mother going to say once she saw he had someone with him? Before he could think it all through, they were standing in front of the main door and he had knocked a few times, footsteps already reaching the door.

As expected, his mother opened it, ready to greet her son when she noticed two things. For one, Sebastian was completely wet. His usually messy hair looked way more out of order than everyday, his clothes sticking to his body. The second thing was the extremely thin and tiny boy clinging to her son's arm.

Suddenly, she grinned to herself, pretty sure she figured out just who it was that Sebastian oh so suddenly cared about.

"Hey you two, what happened?" She exclaimed, considering it more fitting than instantly interviewing Sebastian just who this was.

"It's kind of a long story, we sort of... Fell into a lake out of accident," Sebastian explained.

"And just who exactly are you?" She turned to Ciel, no longer able to hide her curiosity.

He put on a friendly smile, and for the first time Sebastian could really see a bright smile on the boys face. He then shook her hand, attempting his best to appear sober. "My name is Ciel Phantomhive," he introduced himself.

"Mom, I need to get some dry clothes for him and he might need to stay here for the evening, is that okay?"

She smiled brightly, eyeing the two of them, "of course it is, he's also welcome to sleep here if he wants to... And if you want him to," she invited Ciel, giving a wink to Sebastian, who stared at her in shock for a second upon realizing what she was implying. His mother had always been overly acceping and tolerant, of course she'd assume something like this instantly if he brought home a guy as... feminine looking like Ciel. He made a mental note to smack his mother on the head later, letting his eyes travel over to Ciel and check whether he had noticed anything.

The latter just looked

at the two in confusion, his drunken mind oblivious to the silent exchange that had just happened between mother and her son.


	5. Uncovered white lies

So, here's yet another chapter,I hope I can keep up the rather regular updates from now on. I want to, once again, thank everyone for their support, be it reviews, follows or favorites, thanks everyone, it keeps me motivated (:

Sorry if there are mistakes, I'm going to read it myself within the next days and edit the chapter if there are too many.

Without further delay, on with the story.

* * *

"Ignore my mother, she's always like that," Sebastian said, sighing as the two of them had passed her and were on

their way to his room.

Wide blue eyes looked back at him with a hint of curiosity and confusion. "Like what? I think she's pretty nice."

Sebastian wanted to smack his hands against his head once again, how could the boy be so naive as to not have noticed that his mother had assumed they were more than just.. Friends. Friends? Could they even be considered that? Hardly, Sebastian guessed. More like acquaintances. Or simply a boy who always got into trouble and a boy who had the strange urge to get him out of it.

When the two entered Sebastian's room, Ciel was rather surprised to see how neat and clean everything was. It was, to say the least, not that common among people their age to have a room that seemed like it came right out of a catalogue.

"I'm going to try and find clothes that fit you, but I hardly believe I have anything your size here. You're just so extremely thin and small, do you even eat anything at all?" a chuckle left his mouth as Sebastian questioned Ciel's eating habits. He leaned down and tried to fish a set of clothes out of the closet. As he had expected, it was hard to find anything that might even come close to fitting the young boy.

The boy barely acknowledged the question, giving a simple murmured answer, "it's just my bone structure."

Ciel was staring at different things inside Sebastian's room, eyeing a few photos of him with his friends, a photo of a younger Sebastian and his mother. Then, there was an old photo, Sebastian must have been about eight or so, a black haired man standing behind him, looking unamused while the child had the happiest smile on his face. On any other family picture however, the man was missing.

A black band shirt was thrown on his head, the sudden darkness pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Hey," he started to complain, having already forgotten about Sebastian's goal to find some clothes for him. It took him only a moment until he realized this however, and afterwards he eyed the shirt, a forlorn look on his face. Short sleeves weren't much of a good idea and neither was changing his clothes with someone being able to look at him. Everyone always seemed so adamant on showing off as much as they could of their body, Ciel, however, was an exception to that rule. He liked to keep things hidden, to have as much covered up as possible. That way, people could only judge his mostly oversized and cheap articles of clothing, but not his body. He was content with that.

Things had gotten worse ever since the incident.

"Sorry if it's not your taste in clothes, but I don't think I have anything else that would fit. Are you okay with it?" Sebastian questioned, a smile on his lips.

Ciel looked at Sebastian and then, at the shirt again. No matter how much he'd like to try and explain his situation to Sebastian just so be wouldn't have to show too much of his body, he told himself that he shouldn't complain now that Sebastian had already bothered and searched clothes for him. Besides, how weird would it be to explain something along the lines of, 'I feel hideous and fat and I'd rather disappear into this air already anytime someone looks at me for more than 10 seconds, and that's when I can hide myself behind layers of clothing, so could I maybe get a jacket or something?' No, that wouldn't do.

"I'm fine. But pants would be nice too," Ciel remarked, feeling a tiny bit more sober by now and it once again got harder to keep reality away, to think of nothing.

Sebastian sighed after searching his closet for another few minutes. Pants seemed to be a much bigger problem than a shirt.

"Give me a second, I'm just going to go downstairs and ask my mother whether we have some smaller pants," Sebastian explained, already on his leave while he was talking. The door fell shut behind him and he sighed. How different this evening had turned out to be. It had been a few days since he had met Ciel at school, and not under the most amazing circumstances either. Ciel had been a bit different that day, he had been trying everything just to get rid of Sebastian. Today though, that was not the case. Of course, he still barely knew the boy, but he didn't feel quite as unwanted around him anymore.

Like Ciel had, despite everything, opened up to him to the smallest extent. Or maybe Sebastian just mistook Ciel's drunkenness as a sign for the others different behavior. The boy was simply a mystery to him, he had never encountered anyone alike him; someone so full of contradictions, so full of unsolved problems. He wondered whether those problems would be solved within some time and how long it would take for someone like Ciel to regain a normal life.

Was it even possible?

Ciel still didn't look good. Maybe Sebastian had just imagined it, but the boy's face had looked so utterly pale, contrasting starkly against his red lips and the black shadows underneath his eyes, it made him want to ask the boy whether he was alright every few minutes. Ciel just looked so damn easily breakable, it wasn't funny anymore.

'I should stop worrying as much, I'm already doing what it can,' Sebastian thought, unconvinced. It probably still wasn't enough. Maybe he took the whole thing too seriously. Maybe Ciel was not nearly as broken as Sebastian thought.

Or maybe he was.

"Mom?" He called upon descending the stairs.

The silent sound of the TV was to be heard in the living room and Sebastian entered without knocking. It took only a second though until he realized that he shouldn't have come down here to ask for clothes. He should have given Ciel oversized ones.

Brown eyes shone brightly as Carla Michaelis saw her son approaching.

"Sebastian," she began.

"Mom, it's not like you think it is-"

"Why haven't you told me you had a boyfriend? And such a cute one too! I've always believed that you'd bring home a guy one day, I'm just so happy you trust me enough to even bring him. Though, you shouldn't have gone as far as to jump into some sort of pond just to have a reason for him to stay," the words left her mouth withing just a few seconds, cutting Sebastian's attempt at clearing things up off instantly.

"Oh god mom no. Just.. No. He's not my boyfriend, let alone friend.. And what the fuck? I'm not fucking gay, what's even wrong with you?"

"Darling, it's completely fine with me. You don't need to be ashamed of it, just tell me how you got to know each other, I wanna hear every single detail. Have you kissed yet?"

He narrowed his eyes at the excited woman, refusing to continue with this conversation.

"I'm not gay, mother. We're not a couple despite what you might believe. I just came down here to ask for some smaller pants that might fit Ciel because mine are way too big, obviously," he repeated, annoyed.

"But the way he clung onto you.. And how he had to look up just to look you in the eye.. Even if you're so sure you're straight, are you sure he's not into you a tiny little bit then?" She continued her questioning.

Sebastian swallowed dryliy, hoping this was not the case because it would only mean even more drama later on.

"I don't know and I really don't care that much right now. I simply want some pants for him, mother. Nothing else."

She sighed regretfully, giving up for now.

"There might be some pants in the cellar, I'm going to take a look, just wait a second."

Sebastian did just that, standing in front of the couch as his mother wandered off. Had Ciel showed any signs of being.. Interested in him so far? He didn't believe it. The boy had tried to get rid of him and he had seemed more annoyed than excited about Sebastian's appearance a few hours earlier. The only reason Ciel had clung onto him earlier had been the alcohol in his blood. Nothing else.

All in all, it really didn't seem like Ciel was into Sebastian and that was a good thing. Besides, how high was the chance that, even if Ciel really was gay, Sebastian was his type? Not that high, really.

He sighed as he came to this calming conclusion. Being so deep in his thoughts, he almost made a sound of surprise as two or the pairs of pants were shoved into his hands. His mother smiled at him brightly before plopping down on the couch and curling up in front of the TV again.

The boy muttered a 'thank you' to his mother and then exited the room quickly before his mother would try to start a weird conversation with him again.

He entered his room to find Ciel standing in the middle of it, the shirt in his hands. Blank blue eyes seemed to look right though Sebastian for a moment until he focused on the other. Sebastian smirked at Ciel and handed him the pants, letting the boy himself chose.

As it turned out, there was only summer clothing in Ciel's hands, more specifically, short pants. Way too short, how in the world was he supposed to keep his legs covered with those? The feeling of uneasiness over having to display his own body came over him again but he willed it away. Sebastian eyed the other meanwhile, noticing the fake smile on the boy's lips. He decided not to make anything of it, simply turning his back on the other and ignoring whatever problem or was that he had with the pants.

"Do you want to take a shower? The bathroom's right here, just don't take too long because I'm feeling a bit.. Wet and cold, too." Sebastian smirked at the blue haired boy standing in front of him. "Unless you'drather smell like rain water and forest, of course. It's just an offer."

Ciel glared at Sebastian for the comment. He would have accepted either way, even if it was just so he could change his clothes without someone's eyes on him.

"It won't take long, Ciel assured him, rushing into the bathroom to calm himself down a little. Not only could he barely remember ever visiting someone's home, except Alois' once or twice back then, he had also avoided showing more skin than that of his face and hands in front of anyone. He was sure no one would understand if he tried and explained just what he was feeling.

Slowly, Ciel's pale hand came down to pull the hoodie over his face, leaving Ciel with the image of a white, sunken in chest, where there were no muscles to be seen, only the faint outlines of the young boy's ribcage. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at himself as though the picture would burn into his vision somehow and he'd have to face the reality of the state his body was in forever. He sighed as his pants came down too, the disgusting feeling of the cold wet clothes finally fading away but leaving goosebumps. Rather small feet stepped into the shower and Ciel once again admired the clean state everything here seemed to be in. His home couldn't compare at all. He turned the water on, almost suffering a heart attack when the ice cold downpour suddenly hit his chest. Never in his life had he hurried so much as he turned the warm water on, his body relaxing almost instantly as the perfect mix of cold and warm water began to rain down on him.

He would have to thank Sebastian again, a hot shower felt like it was exactly what he had needed after this day. In fact, he felt like there were so many things to thank the older boy for that he barely knew where to begin. He knew better than anyone else that the least thing that should happen when you're already in a shitty situation is that you start becoming indebted to others. To start being dependent on them. And that was what happened if he let people in too much, it left Ciel feeling like the other person suddenly became the center of his universe and without them, there would be nothing. Life had taught him over and over again not to let this happen and this time, he was sure to remember this.

He blamed it on the alcohol, but he had already let Sebastian get too close, he was at his home after all. Maybe if this was a one time thing, a thank you would be enough and things could be forgotten afterwards, each living on their own life.

Ciel really spent way too much time inside his head, a boy his age shouldn't have to over think friendships like that.

It didn't take long until the streaming hot water began to let the air get foggy and the steam was soon inside the whole room. Ciel took the shampoo bottle standing nearby, assuming that Sebastian wouldn't mind. As he took a second to enjoy the warmth, he began absentmindedly drawing all kinds of small things on the glass door with his fingers. When he stepped underneath the water again, his eyes windened in shock and he spun around into the farthest corner of the shower, the shock of someone knocking on the glass door suddenly disturbing his moment of peace.

"Ciel?" He could hear the raven ask and it took Ciel almost half a minute until he found his voice. The fear and the feeling of awkwardness made his heart beat incredibly fast and he could only hope that Sebastian wouldn't spontaneously decide to open that door. Because if he did, Ciel would probably die.

"What?" He had answered so silently, unable to find his voice, that he himself bafely heard it amit the flow of water.

The door opened only the slightest bit and Ciel made a squeal of panic.

To Ciel's relief, the boy didn't look inside, he simply stood close to it and started talking so they would understand each other better.

"I'm not trying to rush you but you've been in here for about an hour and I was slightly worried that you fell or something, especially when I got no answer as I started knocking. I brought you two towels, they're right here," the raven finished.

"Oh.. One hour? I'm so sorry, I seem to have lost track of time in here," the younger boy explained nervously, the whole situation getting to him, especially the fact that he had showered for an hour when Sebastian had specifically asked him not to take too long.

"I'll be out in a minute, I'm really so sorry, especially since you yourself couldn't shower yet," Ciel promised, his voice weak. The feeling of guilt almost crashed him. It was no wonder people let him slip through their fingers that easily without doing as much as trying to hold onto him. Who'd bother and stay with someone who had nothing to offer and could only take?

"I already showered in the bathroom downstairs, so don't stress yourself. I'll be in my room, just get out when you're finished."

Ciel could almost hear the smirk on Sebastian's face and within a few seconds, he was alone inside the bathroom again, water still raining down on him.

He sighed as he turned the warm water off and stepped outside the shower, the cold making him shiver. The towels rested on the floor and Ciel picked them up, using the blue one for his body and the black one for his hair. Inside the bathroom mirror, he could see his blurred face staring back at him and somehow, he preferred it compared to the one he usually saw. He could barely make out his features, let alone shadows under his eyes or bruises.

'Would I even recognize myself anymore if such a blurred image of me passed me by on the street?' He wondered silently.

Short pants were pulled up skinny pale legs and Ciel pulled the band shirt over his head, eyeing the picture on it. The shadow of a soldier was covered in red letters that one could barely read since they looked handwritten by someone who didn't seem to care if their words could even be deciphered or not. The shirt fell down his torso lightly, hiding the shape of his body a little bit at least.

The boy took a deep breath, bracing himself for what was to come.

With a light push,the door opened and Ciel stood there awkwardly as red eyes turned in his direction. The older of the two frowned as he eyed the small figure that seemed to disappear in the fabric of the loose shirt. He remembered the pictures of Ciel he had seen a few weeks ago, the way Ciel stood there with that anxious and sad look in his eyes, the body that had been in ruins more than anything.

The image in front of him could almost be a replica, even though some clothes covered the pale skin this time. Seeing Ciel in his oversized hoddies and jeans, he already looked skinny, but this.. It looked entirely unhealthy. The boys knees were probably the broadest part of his legs, making it look like he might fall to the ground any second and it would take nothing but a slight push for the bones inside to break. Crimson eyes traveled up to Ciel's torso, suddenly stopping at the arms. No less than 10 red marks were located on Ciel's left lower arm, some looking like they were in the process of healing and some.. Not quite.

For a moment, Sebastian Michaelis didn't know what to say or whether he should say anything at all.

"What happened to your arm? Are those burns?" He eventually questioned, opting for a blunt question.

Sebastian could only guess how hard Ciel's heart was beating at the moment, and judging from the look on his face, quite fast. Out of instinct, one of Ciel's arms moved in front of the other, blocking the view on his bruises and scars.

He knew he shouldn't have come here at all and now he had to suffer the consequences of coming too close to someone yet again.

"I accidentally spilled some hot water when I was making tea and it seems my skin's rather sensitive towards heat, so now I have to wait until these heal and I can only hope there aren't going to be any scars," he lied through his teeth. What else could he say? It was the first excuse that came to his mind when thinking of burned skin.

"No wonder your skin's sensitive with how thin you are," Sebastian muttered too quietly for Ciel to hear.

"What?"

"You should really put something on it and maybe bandage it, wounds like that can easily result in blood poisoning," he answered, trying to remain objective. Somehow, the state Ciel was in had evoked some sort of .. Anger inside Sebastian. Not only did he wonder whether those bruises really were caused by hot water but someone else instead, he also somehow wanted Ciel to understand that he shouldn't be as thin. That it pretty damn sure already endangered his health. But his mouth remained shut, locking the unpleasant feelings away in the back of his mind where they belonged.

Blue eyes were narrowed sceptically, before the boy answered. "I'm going to do that once I'm home, don't worry."

The sentence hung heavily in the air and there was a moment of awkward silence.

''Don't worry,' -Of course, there's absolutely no reason to worry even though you're probably about 20 pounds or more underweight and there are bruises all over your body.

"Soo, what are we going to do now?" Ciel asked as he sat down on the bed with a small distance between him and the other, letting his legs swing back and forth. In short, he was trying everything to get off the topic that was his body.

And to his surprise, his method seemed to work quite well. The frown and the thoughtful look disappeared from Sebastian's face and a smirk came to his lips as he answered, "what do you want to do?"

The younger's body relaxed instantly upon hearing this, but that changed just as suddenly again when his eyes traveled to that attractive smirk and lingered there. Sebastian's skin was almost white, creating a stark contrast with the long dark lashes, the deep red eyes and the black hair. Despite his generally masculine look, the features of his face were just slightly feminine, especially when that smirk was on it.

'Shit.'

Ciel's eyes went wide and his cheeks turned pink as he realized what he had just done.

"Everything alright?" Sebastian asked when the other wouldn't answer anymore.

'Nothing is.'

"Ciel?!"

'I just thought of you as handsome.'

Ciel faked a cough, unable to deal with the gravity of the situation. That was how it had begun the last time he fell for someone, then got dependent on them and eventually, his whole world had been turned upside down when he was left all by himself to deal with every mistake he had made all alone.

'What now?'

"I.. I just spaced out for a second, I'm sorry, that seems to happen more often recently," the young boy with the bright blue eyes explained, color still visible on his face. Sebastian smirked at the odd behavior, confused to some degree, but equally as amused. Spending time with Ciel was just.. Different than spending time with others; he could always watch the boy and guess what was on his mind, taking even his smallest actions like the way he sometimes played with his hair when he was nervous or the fake smile he sometimes seemed to put on into account.

His mother would probably tease him about how alike they were and how Sebastian might just as well become a therapist if he told her about such thoughts.

Sebastian simply believed that he was a bit too much into broken things. As a kid, he had repaired bikes and sometimes, he had gotten the possibility to help his neighbors fix their cars. And now, nothing had changed except the fact that Ciel was no broken vehicle but a human instead.

However, the motivation behind it was probably the same. It had always been a nice way to waste time, figuring out the mistake and then feeling proud, like no one else could have managed to do it. Maybe, Sebastian had had a big ego, even as a child.

"Sorry to have interrupted your spacing out time then. Do you want to eat something? I'm sort of hungry." Sebastian smiled, intent on finding out the boy's reaction when it came to food.

Ciel tried not to show just how unprepared he was for that question. He indeed was hungry, but he also knew that he wouldn't be able to eat in front of someone just like that. For the past year, he hat eaten his every meal all by himself without anyone's eyes on him. The amount of meals per day had, however, dropped to one meal most days. If anything at all.

"I'm rather thirsty, a glass of water would be enough for me,thanks," Ciel explained doing his best to look like the topic wasn't a sensitive one. Most topics seemed to be for him, really.

The look on Sebastian's face was unreadable as he nodded. "Fine, maybe that's a effect of drinking so much earlier. Come with me then."

Ciel did as he was told, getting up and following the other as he headed for the kitchen.

The kitchen wasn't necessarily big, but with the many cooking utensils lines up and the way everything seemed to be tidy but not overly so, Ciel found he liked the room. Sebastian handed him a tall glass and a bottle of cool water, leaving Ciel to do the rest for himself. In the meanwhile, Sebastian began to prepare some of the leftovers from yesterday; noodles with Asian vegetables and sauce.

The kitchen was relatively quiet and Sebastian once again broke the silence.

"So Ciel, what do you normally do in your free time?" Sebastian asked, unsure what they were going to be doing until Ciel left later on.

The blue haired boy bit his lip. "I have always liked reading books, sometimes, movies are okay too, but more often than not, the stereotype is true that the book's better than the movie."

Sebastian smirked,"I don't know, I personally feel like oftentimes, the movie's not at all that bad, people just like to point out that they have read the book and because they're so very clever, a movie in which only the main things of the book happen could never be enough for them," he challenged, still working on his meal.

"Are you suggesting I'm one of those people?" Ciel asked in return.

"I would never say that," came the answer with a slight sarcastic undertone.

"That's good then, because I'm most definitely not one of them," Ciel assured with a smirk on his lips and an almost playful tone, his words trailing off when Sebastian's mother entered the kitchen, stifling a yawn. She eyed Sebastian first, then her eyes traveled to Ciel. The look she gave him was analyzing at best, if not to say scrutinizing. For a second, he felt like he was an open book that could problemlessly be read by an almost stranger. As fast as the feeling came, it disappeared again though. Sebastian's mother seemed to notice how uncomfortable it was making him and she turned away a little. Ciel respired when those eyes left his body.

"Did you ask him whether he wanted something to eat too?" She asked Sebastian, her brownish red eyes traveling over to Ciel again and she smiled at him.

"I'm not that self centered, mother. He wasn't hungry," Sebastian answered, the slight feeling that his mother had her analyzing eyes on Ciel present and to be honest, he wasn't sure how to feel about it. And if it truly was the case, the question could have very well been asked tactically upon realizing how thin the boy was.

"Yeah sorry I have forgotten how much of a gentleman you are for a second there," she teased him, giving Ciel a smirk with raised eyebrows. At least now he knew from whom Sebastian had gotten that look. Sebastian eyes his mother threateningly.

"Especially when you really like someone," she then continued, moving a few feet away from Sebastian, afraid that be might hit her for that one.

Ciel's eyes went wide open once again, and so did Sebastian's.

"Um, what exactly is going on now?" Ciel automatically asked, wishing he'd kept his mouth shut just a second later. He turned his head down slightly in embarrassment, catching a lock of his blue haired between his fingers and twirling it around as if that would help his cheeks lose their color and his heart beating less frequent.

"I just mean to say that he easily forgets his manners, except when someone he likes is in-"

"Mom I think you forgot to feed the cats, you should really do that now," Sebastian interrupted his mother, shoving her out of the room like a defiant animal.

Ciel just stood there, unsure what to even think. That was, until Sebastian's hand slightly touched his shoulder, urging him to come upstairs with him again. Ciel pushed the awkward situation from moments ago into the back of his mind, wondering if that was what Sebastian had been talking about earlier concerning his mother 'always being like that.'

He eyed the older teenager walking in front of him, carrying the plate and something to drink in an almost elegant way. Ciel rushed forward so he could open the door for Sebastian, earning a smile in return.

When they had arrived inside Sebastian's room, Ciel plopped down on the soft blanket on top of Sebastian's bed.

Sebastian placed his food on top of his table, sitting down.

"You can read a book or watch TV while I'm eating. Just do whatever you want."

Ciel nodded silently, opting for the TV. He turned it on, lying on Sebastian's bed as he watched strangers meeting each other for the first time only to decide a few minutes later whether or not they should date. He wondered how it was even possible for a show like that to be successful when some rather good shows had to be canceled because they were too unpopular. Then, he reminded himself that he himself was watching it right now, simply because there was nothing else on.

"I'm just going to bring the first dishes downstairs, wouldn't want my mom to get angry because my room's to messy. That woman can be scary," he laughed.

"Fine, do that then," Ciel answered, mentally adding, 'neat freak.' He smirked, turning to watch TV once again.

When Sebastian returned to his room only two minutes later, he faced the image of a sleeping Ciel, looking like a porcelain doll with his head resting on top of his arms, legs curled up to the stomach. The this torso moved slightly each time the boy took a breath and the blue hair was now completely dry, falling down from his head and covering a rather big part of his face.

'Oh great, what now?' Sebastian thought, torn between waking Ciel up and the strange urge to let the other enjoy his well deserved sleep.


	6. Asleep

The feeling of someone's touch was what almost managed to wake Ciel up. A quiet sound of disapproval left his lips before the boy turned around, shielding himself from whoever it was that was trying to destroy his peaceful state of mind and pull him out of his calming darkness. Finally, he managed to find just the perfect position, the tiny bit of consciousness quickly fading away, leaving only the soft and cozy feeling of being cuddled up in blankets on a soft bed.

Sebastian was at a loss.

Having argued with himself for a few minutes, he had decided that waking Ciel up and reminding him to leave would be the best decision. First of all, they really weren't that close. You don't just sleep at someone's home when you barely know them. He himself didn't really mind but he could imagine that the blue haired boy would rather wake up in the comfort of his own home than at someone else's. The other thing was, he still had what his mother had said in the back of his mind. On the off chance that Ciel really did like Sebastian, it would do absolutely no good if the boy grew accostumated to sleeping here.

However, Sebastian hadn't expected that, instead of waking up when he'd poke Ciel's face, the boy would mumble a few sleepy words and then go back to sleep, cuddling his outstretched hand like it was some sort of plush animal. He eyed the sleeping male for a moment, taking in that calm and peacful expression that adorned his face. It would, after all, probably be gone a few seconds after he'd wake up. Sebastian himself knew pretty damn well just how good of an escape sleep could be. In those few hours, you don't have to live the life forced upon you, and for about five seconds after waking, you have yet to realize who, where, and, what you are. Sleep was nice, in Sebastian's opinion. The black haired boy sighed, slowly retreating bis finger and accidentally brushing over a lock of blue hair. He was amazed by the softness of the hair, the way it fell down Ciel's face like water running down a waterfall.

And for some reason, the blue color didn't make it look all that unnatural. The color suited Ciel, especially when his eyes were open and a few locks fell into his face, his fringe effectively covering half his face most of the time. The slight difference between the two shades of blue just helped each feature stand out a little more. Complete with a tiny nose, basically white skin and the pale pink lips, Ciel had all the features of a porcelain doll, only there was something that was everything but innocent in his face. The way he carried himself, showing each person just how broken he was, unaware of the fact that he was easier to read than he himself believed, but no less complicated, had, within a few weeks, been enough of a reason for Sebastian to want to try and read each chapter of this broken boy.

Ciel was like a piece of art, created by a tortured artist, looking at it would probably never make you happy, and yet you can hardly keep your eyes from staring.

In a way, he was the first... special person that Sebastian had ever met.

And wine red eyes opened slightly as that thought came to his mind.

He wished he could just get rid of that silly little infatuation he had with Ciel. Not only did Sebastian wish he wouldn't care at all because it would make things for himself easier, he also was afraid that, if he continued to behave this way towards Ciel, the boy might mistake it as some sort of affection.

And it wasn't.

Once Sebastian would be done staring at the same picture over and over again, even if he'd manage to fix Ciel, it would get boring. Sebastian was just human after all, always searching for something bigger and better than he already had, something more interesting. And broken things only really capture interest for as long as you believe there's something more to them than you can see.

The raven sighed as he pulled the blanket up so it covered Ciel entirely. He went to his mother's room, stealing a blanket and a pillow for himself; she had about 10 pillows and three blankets in her bed after all. Sebastian shortly debated on whether he would like to sleep in Claude's room, but decided against it. The relationship between the two really had never been the best and with the way Claude had been acting lately, it bordered on disgust what he felt for his half brother. He wouldn't be able to sleep well in that room.

Ciel still lay on his bed as he returned to his room, throwing the pillow on the floor right next to the bed and using the blanket as a soft thing to sit on as he turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. When nothing he was really interested in was on the TV, he opted to watch a cartoon show even though the humor was a bit too harsh for his liking.

The hours went by silently. Sebastian had always been a night owl, even if he didn't have anything special to do, the thought of going to sleep too early had never settled to well with him. At night, everything simply was better. And he'd enjoy the evening than to suffer the morning hours awake.

..

Ciel saw sharp golden eyes in his dream. A sickening smile was directed at him as a voice he very much despiced began talking.

"If you honestly believe that someone would help you without gaining something for themselves, you're dumber than I thought. You should know best what humans are capable of."

The boy winced, wanting to defend himself.

"I don't believe anything. And I won't ever believe in anything, or especially, anyone ever again. Just shut up, you don't know me at all." Anger. It was anger Ciel felt, deadly and poisonous anger. If only the other would shut up.

"I know how desperate you are for someone or something you can rely on in that pathetic life of yours, it's quite amusing honestly, the things you do simply because you fear that someone might leave."

Ciel went still then, knowing just how true it was, but how could he not try and to everything to stop people from leaving when be had experienced more than once how easy it was for them to go? But it had never once felt easy for him to be left.

"Sebastian's not like that, he's not like you," the words had left his mouth before he knew and he himself wondered why he just said them.

Somehow, Sebastian didn't seem like someone to drop him just as easily. Yet Ciel knew his mind wasn't the most stable with all the stress he'd been having lately and it had him doubting whether his judgement really wasn't biased when there, suddenly, someone just appeared out of this air and treated him with more kindness than anyone around.

"Well, who'd have known you'd fall into the claws of a new demon that fast? I'm sorry to say that he's a lot more like me than you would like to let yourself notice. In a few weeks at best, you'll be in just the same situation like a few weeks ago, why would he even want to be near you?

Who will you run to then?

When you have to face yourself again?"

Ciel fell silent and his eyes closed tightly. Why should Sebastian stay? He didn't have the answer. And maybe, that in itself was enough of an answer.

..

Sebastian's mother usually never woke her son up because there was no need to.

Today, however, it was two PM and there had been not a single sign of life from either Sebastian or the boy he had brought with him, and that fact coupled with her curious nature was enough of a reason for her to enter her son's room after her knocking went unanswered. The picture she was greeted with would have probably made her squeal if she was a teenage girl. Ciel was lying on the bed, disappearing underneath all the covers, while Sebastian seemed to have fallen asleep while watching TV, his head having fallen on the bed right next to Ciel's. Their breathing was pretty much in synch and a few locks of Sebastian's dark black hair fell into the younger one's face, though it didn't seem to disturb his slumber. Ciel's hand fell down Sebastian's torso, half curled around Sebastian's neck.

The TV was still running and she quietly turned it off.

She sighed dreamily before she quietly left the room. Her motherly intuition told her that Ciel was going to become an important person in Sebastian's life and she could only hope that this was the case. After all, since her husband, Sebastian's father, had died, she had feared that the boy would never let anyone come close again. He had denied over and over again that he even cared for his father, especially since the former soldier hadn't been there a lot, but she simply knew this wasn't the case.

He had cared for his father, had admired the strong and somewhat strict man, but after all the years he had spent mostly away from them, the disappointment and anger of being left had simply replaced the tender and loving feelings. Feelings seldomly were a black and white thing, one side was needed to feel the other.

She saw potential in Ciel, even though she barely knew about the boy, and even though he seemed to be quite the troubled teenager. But in her job, she had learned over and over again that the best people were the most likely to be broken by life, because they cared and they felt; sometimes a little too much. Unlike those who were able to regulate pain and sorrow and just live, a lot of good people had the tendency to get caught up in negative emotions. Of course, it wasn't the case for all, but oftentimes it took for a person to really sink to the water's ground before they would learn how to swim.

Still, she'd talk to her son about the scars on Ciel's arms and his underweight body soon, after some time of thinking everything over and learning a bit more about Ciel. Also, there was still some doubt in her mind concerning Sebastian. To see a person dear to you suffering to deal with these kinds of things was not something everyone could manage.

When the door softly fell in the lock, Ciel's eyes opened slightly for the shortest moment before they closed again. Sun fell into the room through the window that had remained open throughout the night, making the air inside the room not exactly cold but a little fresh. Blue eyes were forced open again, and then went wide. This wasn't Ciel's room. It smelled different, the bed and the sheets were softer and it definitely didn't look like it. A small hand was raised as Ciel pushed his bangs out of his face, the hair tickling his nose. And within only a second, a realization hit him.

This wasn't his hair. Right there, lying incredibly close to him, was Sebastian Michaelis. The other was so close, if Ciel had wanted to, he could have counted the other's deep black eyelashes. He took a deep breath, wondering if he was still dreaming. Meanwhile, his memories of yesterday began to return, starting with the fight with his father, ending with him being here in Sebastian's room. Parts were missing and he briefly wondered if it was the effect of the alcohol he had drunk. He couldn't remember falling asleep and much less, falling asleep with Sebastian right next to him. He had never slept so close to anyone. The thought had him blushing only a slight bit.

Though, he couldn't really say that he was sleeping right next to him, it looked a lot more like the other had fallen asleep while watching TV and his head had fallen on the soft bed coincidentally.

'Of course, why would he want to sleep so close to someone like me?' Ciel thought bitterly. Though, why should it upset him? Ciel had absolutely no right to be mad that Sebastian didn't try to be close to him, and it was not like Ciel really wanted him to be, the boy argued. He couldn't stand people coming too close to him.

The bitter taste of his dream was still on the top of his tongue however, and despite everything, he moved just the tiniest bit closer to the bigger body, the warmth that came from it showered Ciel's body with the feeling of calmness and comfort, two of the things the body desperately needed.

His eyes wandered to Sebastian's lips, and Ciel found it hard to look away again until he slowly managed to get out of his dream like state.

When he shifted slightly, pushing the blanket off himself as it was suddenly a bit too warm, he was shocked to see red eyes open and staring right in his face. He moved back a bit instantly, pulling the blanket back up as some sort of defense.

Sebastian chuckled quietly, "What a way of saying good morning. Have you slept well? You look like a mess," the older explained laughing, a hand reaching up to Ciel's head so be could make the boy's hair look somewhat more presentable.

Ciel's eyes were wide open, the way Sebastian talked to him so casually and took the liberty of touching him just like that was too much to take in all at once. Color came to his cheeks and he looked downright embarrassed as he lightly pushed Sebastian's hand away, but it only got worse as he realized that he was basically holding Sebastian's hands for a few seconds. His eyes traveled to their hands as they were not really interlocked but still touching, he then stared at Sebastian, who seemed more amused than anything.

Ciel swallowed and let go of Sebastian's hand.

'Shit shit shit, this can't be happening, what is all of this leading to?!' was the only thing going through his mind as he didn't dare to look at the other for another second. Ciel couldn't be falling for an older boy he had only just met weeks ago. A boy who, in some twisted way, seemed to care for him, but definitely not in a romantic way.

Sebastian, on the other hand, was slightly confused at Ciel's odd behavior since he had waken up.

"I didn't... Why did I even sleep here?" Ciel murmured awkwardly.

Sebastian smirked. "Oh, you really were that drunk?" His eyes shone mischievously, "Lets just say we had some fun yesterday night," he finished and there was a moment of deadly silence, Ciel's eyes as wide as plates, as he stammered, "Wait a second, y- you mean we.."

Laughter escaped Sebastian's mouth once more before Ciel could even finish what he was saying. Teasing the young boy was just too much fun, he simply couldn't stop himself.

"Oh god you actually believed me," he replied, voice hoarse from laughing, "no, god no. We didn't do a thing. You just happened to fall asleep and when I tried to wake you up, you cuddled my arm and simply refused to be awakened. You looked just like a tired kitten cuddled up in that bed. So I thought some sleep might be good for you and decided against waking you up."

An angry look was shot Sebastian's way, though there was also relief in Ciel's eyes. At least he hadn't lost his virginity without even realizing it. He was, however, pissed that Sebastian would joke about his sexuality just like that. Even though, maybe he didn't know Ciel was gay. He probably wouldn't seem to be as comfortable around him if he knew. Males just had the habit of instantly assuming that, if someone was into boys, they'd automatically be into them.

So maybe it was good Sebastian didn't know. After all, he could honestly do without having Sebastian think he was into him.

"That's not funny at all, idiot. So quit laughing," he protested, arms crossed in front of his chest. The action only had Sebastian laughing even harder, the tall body shacking in amusement.

Ciel eyed him with annoyance, "really, you can stop laughing now, it wasn't that funny." He was relieved to see that, eventually, the laughter began to fade, leaving only an amused smirk behind on Sebastian's face.

Sebastian's hands were raised in defeat, "I'm fine, it was just... That look on your face was simply priceless."

He got another death stare as a reply, though this time Sebastian suppressed the laughter. Teasing was only fun for so long until it became truly annoying.

"So, do you even have a headache? You don't seem to be in too much pain. Would you like some breakfast?" Sebastian asked, somehow hoping the answer would be a a'yes, I'd enjoy breakfast very much'. It would be quite the relief to know that the boy ate enough before he'd leave. Ciel just regarded Sebastian suspiciously, he had learned that people easily picked up on his strange eating habits if he wasn't careful enough. He silently wondered whether Sebastian would comment on it if he'd answer with a no.

Before the boy could shake his head and decline, Sebastian spoke up again though. "No matter if you're hungry or not, I gotta show you my mom's chocolate cake. She makes it with little pieces of chocolate on top and chocolate sauce on the inside, and let me tell you, that cake is the best thing in the world." Sebastian had a more than convincing grin on his face, knowing fully well that he had Ciel trapped. The young boy couldn't just say no after all that praise. It was a cruel move, but Sebastian honestly didn't care so much about being fair right now. He'd rather know that Ciel won't die of starvation anytime soon than to leave him the choice of what he was comfortable with eating.

A pale lower lip was being chewed on as Ciel's eyes searched for somewhere to look. Uncomfortable and awkward were the most fitting words for what he was feeling and the thought of shoving that food inside his mouth like he was some sort of animal on a farm, waiting for the day he'd be fat enough to die, had his stomach feeling unwell.

'Don't freak out, it's only food. Food you'll have to eat in front of someone, food that's going to be visible on your body. It's cake for fuck's sake, why couldn't he offer an apple or anything?'Ciel's eyes went unfocused for a moment, unbeknownst to the boy letting Sebastian see the emotion that shortly adorned Ciel's face. It was a mixture of fear and disgust; Ciel looked downright displeased with what he had said.

A smile was forced on Ciel's face. "I really do not feel so well yet, I'd prefer some tea and maybe I'll eat some of that cake of yours afterwards. Besides, I'm not much of a breakfast type." Sometimes, Ciel wondered if it was even worth it, keeping up that little facade of his. It felt just like anyone could see right through him either way, like the disguise he had simply made it easier for people to see what was really on his mind. It was always that with him, a game of pretense. Trying to show the right sides to everyone, burying the ones he hated and wanted no one to know about underneath a layer of calm indifference or some sort of acting. He honestly was more of an actor than anything.

'I probably lie more than I speak the truth.'

And just sometimes, he even managed to tell himself that there was no problem, so long until he believed it, only for his world to be shaken the next time he was forced to open his eyes.

Sebastian nodded at Ciel, frowning.

He gestured for the younger male to follow him as he got up, stretching his arms shortly. He briefly wondered how long he had been sleeping in that uncomfortable position. It sure felt like it had been a bit too long.

Ciel followed Sebastian wordlessly, feeling like he had disappointed the other. He himself didn't even know what the right thing to do was. On one hand, there was the belief that eating as little as possible was some sort of proof. Anyone could eat big amounts of anything, but fewer managed to keep themselves from doing enjoyable things like that. Only, after some weeks of dieting, it was just as hard to eat enough and not overdo it with the restricting. Combine that with the strange fear of eating in front of people he had developed, and you get the picture of how much of a complicated issue eating had become for him.

He had never wasted a thought on his eating habits until about one year ago, when his family life had began to fall apart and he had felt like nothing but a nuisance for all of those around them, being pushed from one parent to the other like some sort of room decoration that one became tired of seeing.

Ah, the good old times.

"What kind of tea do you want?" The words stopped the thoughts that were occupying Ciel's mind. He had the habit of getting lost in his thoughts.

He looked at the other with a small smile on his face. "Earl Grey please, if you have any."

As Sebastian began to search for the tea, he started speaking, looking at Ciel from the corner of his eye.

"Really now, Earl Grey? I would've expected some fruit tea or maybe green tea. But I don't know anyone else our age who enjoys to drink tea that doesn't taste sweet at all. They all even put half a cup of milk and more than a few spoons of sugar inside their coffee," Sebastian smirked, thinking about all the kids his age who liked to think of themselves as adults with their 'I love coffee so much'-act.

"Well, good thing I'm not like them and for your information, I hate coffee. And if I drink black tea, I want it to taste like just that, not like sugar water. That way, I neither have to deal with high blood pressure, nor with diabetes when I'm thirty," Ciel responded. It seemed Sebastian and him had at least one thing in common; the hatred for people their age who drank too much over sugared coffee. He snickered, 'what a great foundation for a relationship,' before looking away and blushing slightly. Or at least, it felt like that. When did this begin happening again? Even he himself could say that he probably looked pathetic.

Sebastian had prepared boiling water in the meantime, giving Ciel the opportunity to focus on the tea box Sebastian had picked some tea leaves from. It looked like finest quality tea, the contrast between the generally dark brown leaves and some bluish looking parts quite noticable. There was a slight smell of lemon clinging onto the box.

Ciel sighed, hoping that his color had returned to normal by now.

"Ciel? I'm sorry if the moment's not that fitting, but I wanted to talk about something a little personal with you. If you don't want me to, just say stop and that's what I'll do. We don't know each other for that long after all and I'd completely understand," Sebastian began as he poured the hot water on top of the brown tea leaves, making a cloud appear right in front of him for a few moments. The hot tea cup was placed on the table in front of Ciel and blue eyes followed the smooth movements.

Was it him or had that sounded somewhat... suggesting?

"U-uh sure, what is it?"

He had cleared his troath, but his voice still came out as a shaky whisper. The boy tried to cover it up with a cough, mentally preparing some sort of comment about his asthma in case Sebastian would try to tease him. A small hand was raised to his hair, twirling it around his finger a few times before wandering over to his ear and starting to toy around with his tiny black earring; a bad habit that showed itself whenever he was nervous.

Sebastian noticed very well that Ciel seemed a little nervous with how his voice had sounded and the way he couldn't seem to keep his hands still. Instead of teasing the younger male about it, however, he had decided to keep things serious, he had thought about it for quite a bit after all, and had eventually decided to offer Ciel some sort of help, officially that is.

"Whether you want to admit it or not, I know that for some reason, you're being picked on, or rather, assaulted byeventually a group of at least twenty people at school. I can hardly offer to be there and protect you all the time as though you're some damsel in distress, so-"

"There's absolutely no need for me to be protected by you, I can really manage on my own," Ciel interrupted, not letting the older boy finish his sentence. There was a certain amount of bitterness in his voice at the topic.

"That's what I thought," Sebastian mumbled to himself before continuing. "So it shouldn't be a problem for you to help me out with my training, would it? Ever since I was a kid, my father has been teaching me how to fight, so I now know the techniques, but I lack a training partnerhe since he passed away. And I think a bit of training doesn't sound that bad for either of us, now does it?" He continued with a smirk on his lips. If it'd make it easier for the boy when he felt like he wasn't receiving help but just being helpful himself, Sebastian gladly put himself in the position of the one to ask for it.

Despite all his planning and thinking things through, Sebastian was not sure how to read the boy's expression.

"You'd better not believe that I'm going to start calling you teacher from now on simply because you know more about fighting than me," he paused and heaved a sigh, " When do we start?" Ciel asked, face straight. Even though he'd rather die than admit it, he was secretly glad for the invitation. It felt like something to hold onto, and somehow, the fact that it was Sebastian he would be training with made things less... Unappealing.

Astonishment was apparent on the older's face. 'Well, that went better than expected for a change.'

He poured Ciel a cup of tea and handed it to the younger with a pleasant smile on his face. It felt a bit like training a defiant child, dealing with Ciel. Like the boy had yet to be taught what was good for him, and what wasn't so much.

The cup was taken from his hands with what could almost be called excitement. It seemed like the boy's mood was, for once, not quite as dark as usually, leaving a tiny hint of his happier self exposed, and Sebastian enjoyed to look at this side of the blue haired boy. Maybe it was the fact that he had let his guard down, the knowledge that there was now some sort of base for a friendship, Sebastian thought, and it made him glad. The second plus was that with a little training, Ciel would surely not be quite as easily beaten down by others anymore. And maybe, just maybe, the constantly ringing alarm clock in Sebastian's head would give him some rest, and he wouldn't be on constant watch like a guard dog protecting their master anymore if Ciel finally learned to deal with things himself.

A smile was directed at Ciel and the younger suddenly wasn't so sure where to look, his cheeks were heating up and his heart was beating faster than usually.

"As soon as possible, of course. I don't have a lot of things planned generally speaking, so it's pretty much up to you."

Wide blue eyes looked up at Sebastian and the latter swallowed at how intensely he was being stared at, feeling his throat tightening. 'I wish I had never looked at those photos, just now the look on his face was so very alike to when he was standing in front of the mirror... I've gotta tell him one day that I saw him naked. But how to explain that without sounding like a total creep?' Sebastian wondered.

"I don't have a lot of things planned either, I barely know how I manage to kill all of my time doing practically nothing of importance all day," the younger of the two confessed, only realizing a second later how weirdly depressing it had sounded, and he quickly added, "U-uhm I mean I don't have many things planned, just small stuff of no importance, you know? Besides, where do you even plan do your training? I barely think your room is big enough, and you probably don't want any of your furniture damaged or anything," Ciel changed the subject.

"We have a room in the cellar that's pretty much empty except for a small couch and a TV. There are also a few mattresses we can lay out on the floor so it doesn't hurt as much if you fall to the ground. How about you come here on Tuesday, and we'll see if you're an alright training partner?"

Ciel eyed him with a smirk,"yeah we'll see about that."

Sebastian nodded as he moved through the kitchen, preparing himself a simple sandwich for breakfast. "You really don't want to eat anything?"

Ciel shook his head slightly before answering. "I'm fine, I'll eat when I get home," he lied through his teeth. He got up and placed his now empty cup of tea in the sink, not wanting anymore. There'd be other things to worry about once he got home, like his father, for example. The man had been getting more violent lately and Ciel could only guess that it was because he was slowly realizing that he had no chance left with Ciel's mother. Back when they had broken up, it had been easy to see that Vincent had wanted her back. He was, however, too proud to make the final step and tell her. What made things even more complicated was the fact that one of the reasons Rachel had ended the relationship had been Vincent's lack of being able to express feelings properly. Couple that with Vincent's new lifestyle full of alcohol and women, and the rather sudden and unexpected problems arising with the company Ciel's dad had owned, and you get the picture. A dysfunctional couple, both better off without the other, yet one of them clings onto the hope of everything getting better one day. It didn't, however, so there was a need for someone to blame everything on.

And here Ciel was, hoping dearly that he would never and up like his father, but feeling like he was one the best way to become just like him.

As though that thought had been the final straw, the darkness was there suddenly, unexpectedly. Just as the feeling of falling began to make itself shown, something kept Ciel standing.

Eyes were opened slowly, and only now did Ciel begin to pick up on his unhealthy sounding breathing and the way everything was suddenly a bit.. distant. His whole body felt like it was hurting, like his insides were about to explode. The things he heard seemed to come from far away, but he knew they were right beside him. Anxiety was the main thing he felt, and for second, the boy was almost sure that this was it and he was going to die. He closed his eyes again, glad that he didn't have to deal with everything at once. Or with anything at all.

He felt light, like a feather that'd fly away with the slightest bit of wind. It had happened out of nowhere, one second Ciel had been talking, the next he had stood up, and next thing Sebastian knew, he had rushed over to his side, catching a shaky Ciel in his arms just before he could hit his head on the cold white kitchen floor. The raven forced Ciel to look up, holding his chin in place and shaking the tiny and bony body slightly at the same time. Even though it wasn't a heavy breathing, he was glad to see that Ciel's chest rose and fell as it was supposed to, albeit a tiny bit quicker than usually.

"Shit, Ciel!"

Sebastian then made up his mind. If the boy wasn't going to regain consciousness within the next few minutes, he was going to call an ambulance for sure, no matter what the exact reason for Ciel's sudden problem was. It was probably the look on the boy's face what made panic rise inside Sebastian. What if Ciel was going to die? What if this was some sort of serious illness? He tried to think of any illness that would fit, but couldn't quite come up with anything. It was just like holding a life sized doll in his hands, Ciel was so very thin and pale, but right now it seemed even more obvious than usually. It felt to Sebastian like any small movement he made could break the boy into pieces.

One of the lifeless hands suddenly made the slightest move to cling onto his shirt and it felt like the weight of a thousand stones fell from Sebastian's chest. He stopped breathing for a second.

"Ciel, can you hear me?"

A small nod was the only answer he got for the moment, but it was enough, more than enough. Sebastian then pulled Ciel into his arms, carrying him over to the couch like a bride, legs and arms still hanging down his sides. He could practically hear how much Ciel tried to concentrate on breathing, but the boy didn't say anything at first, his breaths being the only sound in the otherwise silent kitchen. It was only when Sebastian let go of him, placing the body on the couch as comfortably as he could, that a few words left Ciel's mouth again.

"Don't go away," the boy murmured, his voice sounding so very small and broken that Sebastian almost thought he had imagined that the boy said anything at all.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured the other, a smile on his lips.

"You'd better not," Ciel mumbled with closed eyes, turning his head slightly so he was facing away from the other. A sound of displeasure left Ciel's mouth and he turned some more, still uncomfortable. It took him a few minutes of laying on the couch until he was able to think properly again. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the brightness inside the living room with its many large windows. His mouth fasted dry and he was grateful as Sebastian offered him a glass of water without assaulting him with words or worse, questions, right away.

Ciel drank almost all of the glass at a slow pace before speaking up. He eyed Sebastian who had decided to sit on the floor right beside the couch, leaving them in a position very alike to the one they had been sleeping in that night.

"Before you ask," Ciel coughed twice before continuing, "I'm sorry if I scared you, it's just that I have been having some..circulatory problems lately."

Red eyes scanned Ciel's face skeptically, leaving Ciel toying around with his earring once again. It wasn't like he had really lied, after all he wasn't so sure himself what had caused the breakdown, it could have been an asthma attack, or maybe even a panic attack, though he'd only had one once before. Or maybe, he should really not go days without eating anything. Maybe he had been too careless.

"To be honest, you really did make me worry, though that seems to be a habit of yours," the last part was spoken quietly and somehow, Sebastian wished he had kept it to himself.

"Wha-what did you just say? I mean, I couldn't quite head you." But he had.

"Never mind, I was just talking to myself," Sebastian shrugged and Ciel felt the tiniest bit of disappointment at those words. If it was true that Sebastian really did care for him, then that might mean that he actually liked him.

'What am I even thinking about? It's not like someone like him would ever truly care for me,' the boy scolded himself for his wishful thinking.

He sat up on the couch, staring at Sebastian in a calculating manner. The older boy seemed like he didn't hide anything from Ciel, he hadn't done anything wrong so far and yet, Ciel didn't know at all what to think about Sebastian Michaelis. People who seemed a bit too good to be true, turned out the exact opposite of what they seemed more often than not, in Ciel's experience. Yet, he somehow wished that Sebastian truly was different.

Blue eyes seemed clouded again for a few seconds, Sebastian realized. Whenever Ciel was lost in his thoughts, this seemed to happen. Whether Ciel knee or not, Sebastian couldn't tell, but he knew that Ciel seemed to think of himself as a lot more distant and cold than he actually came across. He wasn't sure whether the boy remembered the words he had spoken minutes ago, 'don't go away,' somehow, these words seemed to describe the boy better than anything. It was like Ciel was reaching out for someone, and Sebastian had just naturally taken over the role of the person whose hand he could take, even though it had never really been fitting for him up until now.

He couldn't remember a time he had been so worried about someone as he had been about Ciel minutes ago, which left him trapped. Even if he wanted to, Sebastian knew that there was no way be could just forget about Ciel and all the chaos the boy was in, but the worst part was that it wasn't only how broken Ciel was that pulled him in anymore. If he could get to see the young boy free of all the thoughts and feelings plaguing him, then it'd be worth all the trouble it might cause him.

"I think it's better if I leave now," Ciel finally spoke up and Sebastian briefly wondered why the boy's face seemed so red. Hadn't he been looking almost white just a few minutes ago?

Sebastian nodded, even though he felt like there were so many things he still wanted to talk about to Ciel. But maybe, now was neither the right place nor the right time. Before he'd get to know anything more private about Ciel, they'd have to be closer.

"Is it okay if I bring those back on Tuesday? What time was it again?" He spoke in a rushed voice.

"Whenever you have time," Sebastian replied smoothly with a smirk.

"How about late afternoon? I'll try to be there around four, but I can't promise that I'll make it in time," Ciel answered, not wanting to explain his reasons.

"And you're sure that I can let you walk around on your own just like that, when you were unconscious only minutes ago?" red eyes were serious as they looked Ciel right in the eye and he felt his blush increasing.

"I don't know how to prove it, but I promise I feel just fine. And stop acting like an overprotective boyfriend, I can still walk around on my own, you know?" he finished softly. Just as the words had left Ciel's mouth, his eyes opened wide and he looked away in embarrassment yet again.

He then was quick to stand up, only mouthing a short,"upwell, I'll see you then," and made his way to the door so fast, it seemed as if he was escaping a dangerous situation, which in a way, he truly was. He couldn't afford to start feeling.. things for Sebastian just because he was the only person in a long time to give him a feeling that made him feel like he mattered. He knew he had been looking at the black haired boy for a bit too long for it to be normal.

Ciel sighed as he stood in front of the door, hand reaching out to turn the door knob, but it was stopped before he could make his way out. A strong hand was holding his arm in place and it encircled the thin arm completely, leaving him unable to break away, even if he wanted to. Ciel could practically feel the presence of Sebastian's body right behind his back, the distance between them so small that it was almost not existent, leaving the young boy trapped between the door and the taller body. Ciel was trying hard not to let his mind wander, but he downright failed. Besides, his mind didn't have much wandering to do, he was positive the situation in itself would be enough to leave anyone who'd see them wondering about the nature of their relationship. How could a guy like Sebastian, who was obviously not into guys, just put him in a situation like that? Was it some sort of joke, or did Sebastian really have no idea how fast the action was making Ciel's heart beat. He let his head face downwards, leaning against the door with his free arm.

'Maybe it just seems suggesting because I have been staring at his lips for the last two minutes when we sat there like some sick pervert,' Ciel pondered, chewing on his lower lip, still facing the door. He hoped that Sebastian wasn't able to hear his heart beating so fast.

When the other didn't say anything for a moment and the tickling feeling inside Ciel's stomach only began to grow, he turned around faced him, trying to mask his thoughts as good as possible. Of course, Sebastian's eyes were, how else should it be, not at all shining with anything romantic and Ciel wished his stupid teenage hormones would stop playing tricks on him like that. Instead, however, there was something unreadable in Sebastian's eyes and they softened slightly only when he began to talk, the rest of his body still somewhat stiff. "I'm sorry if surprised you, you were just leaving so fast and.."

Deep blue eyes stared back at Sebastian and he had to pause for a moment. He suddenly found it a bit hard to focus.

"And?" Ciel asked breathlessly, not sure what he wanted Sebastian to add.

"And I wanted to give you my number so you could call in case you can't make it on time," Sebastian finished, noticing the way the younger's eyes were no longer focused on his eyes but instead on something a bit lower. He shrugged it off, even though he noticed the red color on Ciel's cheeks again.

The hand that had been holding Ciel's arm in place then moved to his hand and Ciel couldn't do anything other than holding his breath as it brushed over his. When was the last time he had been this close to anyone? Had he ever truly been so close to anyone except for when someone was beating him up? Probably not. As the hand left his, there was a piece of paper inside it, Sebastian's number written on it with a black pen. For a boy, Sebastian's handwriting was quite nice, Ciel noticed. He took a small step backwards as he suddenly lost the support of Sebastian's hand, accidentally bumping into him and panicking again until he heard a silent laughter from Sebastian and managed to relax a little.

Within a few seconds, Sebastian had moved away from him, leaving Ciel some personal space. He opened the door for the boy and let the small figure slip through it. When Ciel was outside, looking a bit less nervous than he had for the last few minutes, he smiled at him. "I'll see you then," he said pleasantly.

Ciel returned a small smile and waved the other goodbye as he started walking. Even though summer was just about to begin, he could feel the sun warming his skin instantly. He boy tried to ignore his fear of people seeing him in the short clothes and swallowed, bracing himself.

"I'm looking forward to it," he admitted without a thought before turning around and hearing the door fall into the lock behind him. A small sigh left his lips and he murmured to himself, "what am I even getting myself into?"

Sebastian, on the other side of the door, was asking himself just the same question.

..

Sorry for the long wait, I tried to make up for it with a rather long chapter. Thanks for all the feedback so far, and of course, if you liked the chapter, you are very welcome to leave a review and tell me what you think about it.

I thought about including the songs I listen to when I write the chapters, so for this one it would be 'Every you, Every me' by Placebo.

Once again, please forgive me for typos or the alike, I wrote this on my phone and was stoned 90℅of the time I was writing. So yeah, they finally get a little closer within the next chapters and there's gonna be quite some fluffy stuff I guess. I don't know if I'm moving a bit too fast with their relationship because I find it pretty damn hard to write a one sided kind of love, but at least it won't stay this way forever, of course.

MasterExpose: I personally imagine her a bit like Beast too, but without the extremely curly hair and with a less curvy body. More like some sort of hippie mom who somehow always looks nice and casual without even trying, I don't know :D


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